all that's past is prologue...

Small Business Health Rant

2012-01-19T09:33:00.003-06:00

The reason I know that most politicians, Democrats and Republicans alike, don't REALLY care about small business is this, is political attitudes towards healthcare.

I've already gone on ad nauseum about insurance coverage, so I will spare you that, for now. Suffice it to say that, in a global marketplace, there is absolutely no way for American companies (who spend often 5, 10, even 25% of their budgets on health insurance for their employees) to compete with businesses in other countries who do not have that expense because they have single payer or government systems. I don't care how efficient your business model is, that's an almost insurmountable gap.

But my current issue is with HSAs. Since we are both self-employed, and Beatrix has yet to get a job, we have a personal health insurance plan through Medica. Premiums are $700/month currently, and we have a $6,000 deductible (that means we get to $14,400 before insurance starts kicking in, for those of you doing the math at home). We fund costs up to that deductible (and the 20% copay beyond it), through an HSA through Patrick's wonderful credit union, Spire.

So the idea behind an HSA is that it can be funded with pre-tax dollars. They can be funded by anyone; an employer can contribute to it if they have a high-deductible health plan, or individuals can contribute. They can be used to fund qualified medical expenses, ranging from copays to the amounts up to high deductibles such as above, to prescriptions — though starting last year, they disallowed over-the-counter medications like cough syrup. They also have a contribution cap, currently $6,250 for a family.

Now here's the issue. Like most consultants, we perform the service and then wait for the check to come in, often several months later. Thus, we treat our HSA almost like a bill — we fund it when we can, and then we often turn right around and pay the associated medical bill with it. But funding it is a real hassle. We have to go to the credit union, during regular business hours, go in, and physically make the deposit, so that the teller can code it correctly and, most importantly to the federal government, so we can sign to the effect that this is a legitimate contribution to the HSA. We can't deposit money via an ATM, or transfer funds into the account by phone or online, or even send in a deposit. Because the federal government is really afraid that, for this tax savings on $6,250 a year that is limited to specific medical expenses, we might fraudulently be putting money into the HSA and avoiding tax.

The result is, of course, that when we have a last-minute expense come up, like the glasses I wanted to purchase on sale yesterday or a doctor visit for a sick kid over the weekend, and there is not enough money in the account to pay for a variable and unexpected medical bill, we can't use the HSA to fund the allowed expense. (because let's face it, I would rather be working for a client and billing that hour in the middle of a business day than spending the time running to the bank).

(Meanwhile, this week, presidential candidate Mitt Romney admitted that his average tax rate was "closer to 15%," even on his book royalties and the $375,000 he made last year on speaking fees, much less his investment income.)

There's a lot of lip service being given to small businesses as the "backbone of the economy," and how entrepreneurship will be crucial to the country moving forward. But the cold hard truth is that there is very little attention paid to the issues that small businesses and sole proprietors face — healthcare and health insurance being top on that list. Until we take these things seriously, we're actively discouraging entrepreneurship in this country, and that simply MUST change.

ETA - Oh, and another barrier to work for many? Childcare. We just got approved for Ramsey County assistance and were put on the wait list. It's 3 years long at this point.

Learning to Love (More)

2012-01-17T21:09:00.003-06:00

When Beatrix was born, I understood the falling in love instantly part. But I have to admit, while she is rounding the corner to four, that I fall in love with her a little more every day.

My little baby has turned into a sweet, somewhat bossy, very fun girl who is every bit her own person. Every morning she wakes up and comes down the hall to our bedroom, where she announces "The sun's up!" and climbs into bed to cuddle with us. She makes us play with princesses and the large houseplant and circus tents. She scarfs down moose pasta. She tells stories that go "Once upon a time there was a cat. The End." She uses big words, well. She enjoys school, and people, and parties, and movies. She's an animal's best friend. And she loves to snuggle.

Each day, I learn to love a little more.

--

Are you blacking out tomorrow to protest SOPA? My voice is pretty small and won't likely be missed, but I'm thinking of stepping aside. Thus a semi-unformed post now, before I forget it by Thursday.

Body Work

2012-01-13T16:17:00.002-06:00

Though I've been getting less cardio-vascular exercise than I should (and eating more cookies), I have been very pleaed with some of the exercise I have been getting.

In alter fall, I started going to pilates at The Sweatshop with my friend Katharine. I have taken pilates a lot of other places, but the place I keep on coming back to is The Sweatshop — somehow, the atmosphere and the levels there seem just right for me. I really enjoy it.

Today, Patrick and I took a Restorative Yoga class at Bliss Yoga. We had an about-to-expire pass from Living Social for 30 days of unlimited yoga, do decided to give it a try. It was lovely — a long (105 minute) class mostly focused on deepening poses and working your body. Not really athletic at all, but made me feel great; as much as I crave sleep lately, this was probably a more relaxing way to spend my time. I can hardly wait to go back for my next class!

Climbing Everest

2012-01-10T21:15:00.002-06:00

When I get together with my closest friends, we usually eat at J's house — because it's convenient and extremely comfortable — and we often either grill or order out (see earlier not about convenience and comfort). Last week was a mix of the two, with grilling for the kids and Everest on Grand for the adults.

Convenience is not always a factor in ordering from Everest on Grand, and in the past we have faced some challenges in actually ordering and picking up the food. This time, we were also disappointed because they had dropped the memorable "hotmomo.com" web address and gone for the far more prosaic "everestongrand.com" So much for distinction.

J and E really love their jackfruit curry, though we all confessed to not even knowing what one looks like. I admit to liking it fine, but I am not overwhelmed with it. On the other hand, the kauli that I picked (potatoes, cauliflower, and peas) was also kind of meh, perhaps a little overly spiced. However, the palak paneer, which I often am not wild about, was amazing here — silky, light, and very well-flavored. And the "hot momo" — delicious, as always! I've never tried the yak ones, but the meat-eaters in our party gobbled them up, and I have more than my share of the veggie variety.

I'm still not overwhelmed by Everest on Grand, and I think it's a little pricey for what it is (which reminds me, E, I still owe you for our portion!). But it did rise a notch in my estimation in the last experience, and the company was wonderful, so I'm sure I'll be back in the take-out line soon!

Bach-ing It

2012-01-09T08:55:00.004-06:00

The Bachelor Farmer is the new "It" restaurant, making most people's top lists and often named "Restaurant of the Year" for 2011. But just why is it so good?

We went for my birthday just after it opened, and returned last week, bringing my Norwegian cousins to show them what Scandinavian cuisine is like here. This is why the place is great...

We arrived a little early, on purpose, because we wanted to get drinks downstairs at Marvel Bar. While the upstairs bar is just fine, it's nothing amazing, and the Marvel truly is. The minute you walk into the lovely atmosphere you feel taken care of, and our bar server did that and more — ensuring that the three men ordering old-fashioneds got different liquors in their drink so they could compare and contrast, checking in at the restaurant for us so they knew we were there, and generally taking care of us. Some of the best service I've had.

Upstairs, the service was similarly attentive without being rushed. Both Dayton brothers were in attendance, but they seem to have things down perfectly, and I have no doubt the service is as good at any time.

We started with some of the toasts — salmon, camembert, and a duck liver pate, all of which were lovely. I always forget how rich the camembert is, but somehow without being stifling.

Entrees were similarly lovely — a roast chicken, pork, sirloin, and I think mine was the winner — a lovely seafood stew with two kinds of fish, each perfectly cooked, and mussels.

There's a new dessert chef and desserts were small but perfect, our pear tarte tartin the perfect way to end the meal.

My cousins ordered the wine, and the 6 of us went through 2 bottles, so there was no way to try to use the famous wine chalkboard, but it stayed very active all night! Our party also took advantage of a few moments to peek into the men's store Askov Finlayson, with my husband returning the next day for a little sale shopping.

All in all, a perfect night. At about $65 a head including cocktails, not the cheapest meal in town by far, but one of the most memorable.

#findtodd

2012-01-04T20:36:00.003-06:00

It came up in a quick status blip in my MN Food Bloggers Group last night:

Kind and lovely Todd Tweedy, he of Todd's Salsa and a member of our group, left a terrible and sad message on his Facebook page earlier today. The police are searching for him but there is no news currently. FYI as the hope is that spreading the word is potentially helpful. #findtodd on Twitter.

Following close on the premature death of my friend Christine last week, seeing this really shook me. I've only met Todd once, when he dropped off some of his amazing salsa for me to sample — though earlier last night, I had just mentioned I needed to trek over to the Wedge to get some. I've interacted with him a few times through the group, and always found him a genuinely nice guy. The news hit me hard.

I reacted the only way I could think of — joining in the early #findtodd tweets to raise awareness, posting it on a local message board, retweeting, and then the old-fashioned way, by looking for his red Passat (545 BLM license) myself. Soon after, everyone I knew was tweeting and reacting, with tech reporter/friend Julio Ojeda-Zapata picking it up last night and old friend Jen Kane featured on KARE 11 tonight. There's a lot of buzz right now about reaching out to those with depression, and a lot of good awareness building. I am truly amazed at the way that the social media stream has picked this up and run with it.

Yet at the same time, it's been over 24 hours with no word. There are a lot of concerned and active people out there — and I am still deeply afraid that it is not enough.

UPDATE: Within an hour after I posted this, news came that he had been found. Incredibly relieving, but just the beginning of the journey for Todd. Let's hope he can teach us all to reach out a little more.

2012 Resolutions

2011-12-31T19:20:00.003-06:00

Alright, here I go...

1) Learn to knit.
2) Write 100 paper letters to various people in my life, telling them something I really like about them.
3) Pay more attention to the communities in which I live and work — notice details and changes.
4) Actively promote and advance my friends — connect them with people, ideas, and opportunities.
5) Renovate the new house we just bought (this is kind of a no-brainer, since the city has a timeline on it and since my MIL is moving up to move into it in 6 months)

and two continued from last year:

6) Exercise more, eat better.
7) Have (at least) one friend/couple/whatever that we don't see enough over for dinner a month. (I may even throw in the challenge to cooke something from my friend Robin's cookbook for that meal!)

Two I would like but are harder to measure:

8) Be more creative — make more things. Maybe quantify by "Make one new thing a month."
9) Make our home a more comfortable, relaxing place to be.

--

Ok, off in the rain/snow/sleet to a NYE party in NE Minneapolis. Excited to go, but dreading the weather and keeping Beatrix up — but we bought a big cake to bring, so we have to go!

Falling Into Place - Part 2

2011-12-30T13:59:00.003-06:00

Ok, there was one thing I didn't mention in my post yesterday because I didn't want to jinx anything for the closing today...

...we bought another house!

It all started in the fall, when I was trying to demonstrate to someone what good deals there were in foreclosures in Saint Paul right now. I went to Edina Realty's website, and there was a house, tucked just behind the state capitol, and looking in pretty good shape, for $7,500.

A few days later, on the way to visit my mom's grave, I convinced Patrick to drive past it. We were pretty impressed by the neighborhood — it's charming, close by, and within walking distance to the new light rail. It's in an area I really had not paid much attention to before, kind of where Frogtown and the North End meet. We called our long-suffering realtor, who took us through it and was also pretty impressed (though he reports his colleagues asked "Where do you find these people?" "Well, the last house I showed them was $750,000...")

The house needed electrical work and plumbing, but was generally sound. We brought another long-suffering contractor friend through it, and he was also impressed.

So we placed an offer, which was accepted.

Except that the house was a Category 2 Registered property with the City of Saint Paul, which meant that the sellers (Freddie Mac, since it was obviously a foreclosure) had to get a Code Compliance report done. We insisted, and they eventually rejected our offer. Then we placed another offer, offering to pay for the code compliance report ourselves (we legally could not order one, since we were not the owners), and were again rejected. The house was supposedly "under offer" and went off the market. (In the meantime we went on a little "tour of foreclosures," and there is still a lot out there).

Then, in November, the house popped up again (for even less!), and this time, the listing agent had actually convinced the sellers to do a code compliance report. We placed an offer contingent on that report, and spent several nail-biting days waiting for the report. Finally, just after Thanksgiving it all came through — the work to be done was not too onerous, and we were cleared to go ahead. We still had some hurdles to clear with the city, but we made it through those.

So today, we closed on our $7,200 house!

----

(What are we going to do with it? Well, fix it up, and then my mother-in-law will live there when she moves up here this summer. There are two more parents after that, so you never know, we may be looking for more place...)

Falling Into Place

2011-12-29T23:01:00.003-06:00

A few weeks back my Facebook statuses got everyone all excited because I posted about "things falling into place." No, we didn't buy the house we were lusting after on Summit, basically because we already love the two houses we already have and are having a hard time choosing between them! But a lot of other things have been coming together:

- I picked up two more ongoing clients, which I am really excited about.
- ALL THREE organizational development proposals to MRAC that I was on board for got funded — add those to my standing clients and to several other projects, and I will be a busy girl!
- Meanwhile, Patrick is on course with his next book, and was selected to chair a major conference.
- We were able to rent out the Summit house to a very charming gentleman for the Christmas holidays, and thanks to the Blessings, purchased some great cork flooring to redo the sunroom.
- Our daycare schedule changed, and while it originally looked like it would be a major issue, has turned out to give Beatrix more school time, equal time with Alex, and less cost! (plus maybe even some date nights for us).
- Patrick worked hard to get some new shelving up in the basement, so we are on our way to organization.
- I got a great deal on some more pilates passes at the Sweatshop, so will be able to continue!

(oh, and when I originally posted that it looked like I would be able to FINALLY attend Books and Bars — that feel through, but at least Rebecca and I had a great evening at WA Frost lounge last night!)

Stay tuned for more good news...

New Year's Resolutions for 2011

2011-12-27T22:23:00.001-06:00

Huh, looking back I realize I really LIKE my resolutions from last year...

1. House: 3 big projects
- finish cleaning and organizing basement - well, we're maybe halfway there...
- finish bedroom - finished and wonderful!
- repaint the exterior and re-do the front porch - done, and we love it!

2. Friends
- Have one friend/couple that we don't ordinarily see over for dinner a month - hands down my/our most successful 2011 resolution. Lots of fun and great to reconnect with people (and connect them with others).

3. Health
- Start exercising more and eating more healthily — MIL's stroke was a big wake-up call for this. - mixed, I do now attend pilates 1x a week and work out on the exercise bike, but not enough

4. Technology
- Some year-end notice for my strange little blog made me realize I need to be more intentional about it. - mixed, there's more to do but I feel pretty good about it.
- Tech in general — I'm tired of Patrick, the techie, having control of All Things Technical in our house. I need to better understand this, and set up my own systems. mixed - made some strides, but more to go.

5. Work
- I've got a lot of clients right now, but I need to take things to the next level with pay and happiness. - VERY successful! Yay!

6. De-access
- Sell off some of the things we are no longer using (anyone want to by a nice, low-miles Audi sedan? I'll drive it to you...). mixed, definitely more to do
- Get rid of some of the smaller stuff — clothes, housewares, etc. I know I will never do enough of this to make my husband happy (after all, he's the "Minimal Mac" guy and would be happier if we lived in 300 square feet with just an Eames chair), but it's creating a happy medium) - much better about this!

All in all, I feel pretty successful. Plus I did indeed ditch the double-space after a period habit!

Happy Holidays!

2011-12-22T12:05:00.002-06:00

Out of the Mouths...

2011-12-19T22:20:00.003-06:00

This morning, as we went to school, Beatrix and I were talking about how nice Daddy was. She then ruminated that "I'm not always very nice to daddy," and when I asked her how replied "I kick him, I tell him the sun [her morning nightlight] is on when it's not..."

We then discussed all the people she was nice to, Daddy and Mommy and Clara and Grandma Tisch ... "And Grandma Mary Lou. Remember when we thought that Grandma Mary Lou was dead but she's not? That was funny." So then we had the whole dead discussion again — happy Monday before Christmas...

When I picked her up tonight, she was having trouble finding her various mittens. We found one, in a bag that suspiciously held one of her teacher gifts she was giving out today — travel mugs filled with chocolate candies. Only this one had a mug — and a lot of candy wrappers. When pressed on this, Beatrix concocted an elaborate story about how Teacher Kelli didn't like chocolate or peanut butter and didn't want the gift. We then had a lesson-filled evening of refilling the mug from Beatrix's candy stash and declining a trip to Santa after Beatrix blithely mentioned that she just wouldn't tell Santa about he incident (cue rendition of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town," after which Beatrix reasoned we did not live in a town, so we were ok.

I hope Santa isn't watching.....

(this was, somewhat, all made up for as described in a text from Clara today — several androgynous punk youth crossed the street in front of their car and Beatrix remarked "I just saw the Beatles!")

Occupying-ing

2011-12-05T21:03:00.004-06:00

We're in the process of switching, from Big Bank (US Bank) to small bank (Anchor). The move was actually not politically instigated — it was because of other issues — but it correlates nicely with the Occupy Your Bank Account movement, and falls within the reasons.

I have a small trust, left to me by my mother, which I will not be able to access for some time. The trust was put in the control of US Bank, where it had been invested since my mother inherited it.

When it was first transferred, there were a number of issues, many of which I blamed on the law firm that handled my mother's will (and they were certainly far from blameless.) But, over the years, there have been any number of slip-ups by USB. i would not hear from them for ages — and then would call with a question, only to find that my trust manager had apparently disappeared into thin air. They would take me out to lunch, assuring me I was in the top 1% of their clientele, and then not return my calls. Then they would hold large meetings, where several men in suits would file through, only to have each of those men speak to Patrick and not to me. They would sell stock and securities without asking. My "private banking" status seemed to come with no recognizable perks. And then I found out that, for all of this, their fees were much higher than comparable management.

So I transferred the trust, and am closing the bank accounts. I did write my new trust advisor to let him know, before the transfer papers arrived, and heard absolutely nothing back. So apparently I am not so valuable to them as they expressed.

My new bank, on the other hand, experienced a hiccup late Friday night. My banker emailed me back about it, form her smart phone, while driving with her husband do Menomonie in a blizzard yesterday, to assure me it will be alright.

That's why I like small local businesses.

---

(in an aside to that, I purchased several gifts in small local places tonight and feel rally good about them all!)

Things My Mom DID Do

2011-12-03T19:13:00.004-06:00

A few weeks back, I posted a sad post about things my mom missed out on. Tonight, I am thinking about all the things she DID do, which are many!

- She loved traveling and travelled to hundreds of places, all around the world (many of which we went to together). She took me on my first trip, driving to New Orleans, when I was not even 4. We stayed at the Olivier House, ate at fancy restaurants, and walked down Bourbon Street where I looked through the doors at the "fancy ladies."
- Among those trips, she went through the Panama Canal, stayed in Morocco when the king was visiting, went to her favorite places like Hawaii and Thailand numerous times, brought babies back from Korea, kissed the Blarney Stone one Christmas, went on her own to Brazil (in the early 1970s!), swam with the dolphins, and climbed through rice paddies in the Philippines.
- As well as trips with me, she went on several trips with friends, experiencing exotic places and the fun of just hanging out.
- She went to Amelia Island, Florida every March, where she rented a beach house on North Fletcher Road and enjoyed the ocean all day.
- She worked a career she loved at Children's Home Society for many years, and then went on to found several small businesses, including a Halloween shop and clothing trunk shows before they were common.
- She bought her house on Summit with my dad in 1965 for $20,000, restored it, added on to it, built a swimming pool which she used every day, and loved all of it.
- She held notoriously boozy holiday parties with eminently 50s appetizers (rumaki and crab toast, anyone?).
- She loved Christmas, decorated to excess and baked 15+ kinds of Christmas cookies, plus lefse and quick breads.
- She read voraciously, crafted when she thought she *should,* and knitted haphazardly. She played a mean game of bridge.
- Although we did not go to many arts events when I was younger, when I got older and started to work in theatre she started attending a lot and loved it. She liked to go to small local theatres and the occasional big extravaganza like "Riverdance" or West End shows in London.
- She got to see me graduate 3 times. She was so happy I married Patrick. She was proud of Max and Miles, and of her whole family and all her friends.

Occupy This

2011-11-20T11:20:00.001-06:00

I'm not very often at a loss for words. But at least in this case, my friend Jason says this much better than I could have.

November Starts the Holiday Season

2011-11-19T21:13:00.003-06:00

First snow today! Beatrix was very excited, but seems to have somewhat inherited my attitude towards snow — it looks pretty and all, but once you get all bundled up and head out for a walk it's still kind of cold and a PITA. Some cocoa cheered her right up, though, and it really is pretty.

Somehow (likely on Twitter?), I had heard that Linder's was doing a holiday lighting festival tonight, so we headed down there after dinner. The greenhouses are lit up so that they really do look magical, and they are filled with Christmas items. It was a completely child-oriented event, and within minutes of walking in Beatrix had received a candy cane and flower seeds from Mrs. Claus, a balloon, and a chocolate chip cookie (she insists, by the way, that chocolate chip cookies are perfectly good Christmas cookies if you draw a tree on with icing. I can't say I disagree. We stood in line for a hayride with Santa, and a large family even let us go ahead of them when there was little room left on the cart, so we got to sit right next to Santa so Beatrix could tell him just how excited she was about Christmas. The Linder's property is amazingly large, and they set up areas like "Christmas tree alley" full of sparkling trees.

After that we checked out the reindeer in the corral, listened to some Christmas carolers, appreciated the poinsettias, and — Beatrix's favorite — checked out the fairy gardens. When we got home, Beatrix said "That was really fun, thank you for taking me!" and I certainly agree! (this is a hard holiday season for me — see earlier post — and this was a great way to start it out).

Now for some Beaujolais Nouveau, another of my favorite November holidays...

Pizza Lu-Sigh

2011-11-17T20:16:00.004-06:00

Like many Americans, pizza is my go-to comfort food. And I have had a love affair with Pizza Luce since my days at Jeune Lune, where pizza from the original location was on heavy rotation — hey, I even served Luce pizza to Kevin Bacon! So, nearing the end of a long week, what better dinner solution than meeting our good friend Leah from A Taste of My Minnesota, and her darling daughters, for some pizza?

Oops.

The evening started simply enough — the waitress forgot to mention it was Happy Hour, but we did solve that and get some drinks, the three girls colored and played with chopsticks, the table next to us, seated at the same time we did, received their pizza quickly and it smelled great. The girls' food came, and our artichoke dip, and we were told the pizza would be soon. And then, nothing.

About 40 minutes in, as the girls were getting squirrely, we asked on the ETA on the pizza. We were told it was "in the oven" (well, I suppose that's good), and it would be out in 6 minutes.

Another 20 minutes passed. The boxes we had asked for for the leftover kid food had not arrived, so their leftovers turned into finger paint. We went off to find a manager, who said that a "big order" had come in and backed up the kitchen. Never mind my feelings about basic kitchen management, wouldn't you communicate that fact to your waiting patrons? The waitress arrived with the pizza, we sent it back to be boxed up because, at that point, we really had to go (near bedtime). She came back and said "I guess we're buying your pizza because of the wait." We paid, and booked out. I just had cold pizza finally for dinner, 3 hours after we first sat down.

I didn't want free pizza tonight. I wanted to sit and visit with my friend, and I wanted good food served to me in a reasonable timeframe and with pleasant service. I wanted communication, and I didn't want the feeling that we had turned invisible. Is that so much to ask?

EDITED: I have to say that Pizza Luce saw this post and took the situation very seriously, sending me a gift card and having two people to call me to find out what happened. I'm totally willing to give them another chance. I will say, though, that it engendered a lot of discussion with friends who had had similar (though not quite so bad) experiences, so I do think they have some PR work to do.

Refugee Furniture

2011-11-13T23:33:00.004-06:00

I saw this dresser several weeks back, in someone's trash behind the Holly Tot Lot, and fell immediately in love with it. Much to Patrick's dismay, I returned later that night with a flashlight and a drill, disassembled it, and brought it home.

But something happened to Patrick when he carried it inside after several days of it taking up too much space in the garage. He saw what I had originally appreciated — this is not a piece of mass market furniture. It's extremely old, handcrafted from oak that was likely hand-milled. The carving on it is slightly primitive, again done by hand. It's kind of battered, and in some disrepair. As Patrick worked on re-assembling the piece, tightening the pieces and getting everything back together, he fell in love with it too.

I ordered some new hardware from the super-super-sale section of Anthropologie, and this morning Patrick put the hardware on and Beatrix and I polished the wood. I'm thrilled to say that the piece looks even better than I thought it might, and I am very happy I acted on impulse and brought it home!

Five Years

2011-11-09T22:04:00.002-06:00

I'm having (a lot of a) struggle already, as we move into the holiday season that marks five years since my mother's death on Christmas Day, 2006.

In some ways, it feels stupid, self-indulgent even. Five years is just a number. It doesn't, in itself, mean any more or any less than any other number.

But we humans tend to mark time in landmarks, and there have been a lot of landmarks. Patrick and I have been married for five years (this past June). Five years is twice as long as my mom lived after the diagnosis. Five years is as old as Beatrix's friends Alex and Kelsey. Five years is half the lifespan of my favorite wine shop. And five years is that many Christmases, and birthdays, and Mother's Days, and amazing Beatrix moments, and so many other things.

My mother never got to meet my dog, or two of my cats, or most of all, her granddaughter. She never got to see her nephew get married in Norway, or meet his son. She never got to support any of the theatres I currently work for by seeing shows there, she never saw our new back yard and porch and bedroom and guest rooms. She never got to even know the idea of a Kindle (god, she would have loved that). She never got to meet some of the friends I am now closest too. Five years is really the blink of an eye, and it's an eternity.

Five years is long enough that I perhaps *should* be over losing my mother, and yet I am not even close it seems.There are times, when I am at a place that reminds me strongly of her, that it's an actual physical ache. In some ways, I have gotten used to life without her, and in some ways it's still so overwhelmingly raw and painful and life-shredding. It hits me at the worst moments sometimes — when I remember a book she liked, when I look down at my hands that are beginning to look just like hers, when I still catch myself wanting to share something with her and realize I can't, when I long for the unconditional support you get from your mother that I just don't have anymore.

So I'm trying, really hard, this holiday season. Christmas was so important to my mother, and that love has carried on to Beatrix in spades. Yet there's a big part of me that really wants to hibernate just about now, and re-emerge sometime in early January. So if I seem a little off, if it seems like I may be faking it somewhat at a holiday gathering, just know that it's five years — and that I'm hoping six will be easier.

Happy Halloween!

2011-10-31T22:43:00.012-05:00

Serious mermaid Ariel (before candy):

Silly mermaid Ariel (after candy):

Beatrix, aged 3.75, has figured out "Halloween Time" and it's her second-favorite holiday. Tonight she got to see her aunt and uncle, we stopped at her BFF Governor Dayton's house for candy (but no dogs, sadly), and then we hit the neighborhood for her to get quite a full bag. She's still a little afraid of some costumes, but heartened by the fact that ghosts are probably afraid of princesses. And she insisted on sleeping with her jack-o-lantern in her room.

And I'm trying to put this on a link exchange, so check out the other cuties if I actually get this to work:

edited - cannot get the button to work for the life of me!

I've added the button in the side bar for now if it's easier. The cuteness will slay you!

http://sellabitmum.com/2011/10/29/boo-in-the-blogosphere-halloween-costume-link-up/

All Politics is Local

2011-10-22T21:26:00.003-05:00

Beatrix and I drive past the Governor's Mansion on Summit usually several times a day, and when we drove past today, Governor Dayton was throwing the ball for Mingo in the front yard. Beatrix was super-excited to see them, so we stopped and walked up to the fence for a closer look. When Governor Dayton saw us, he put the leash on Mingo, then picked up the new puppy Itasca and brought him to the front steps so that Beatrix could see and pet him. Beatrix was beyond thrilled, and when I mentioned that this made her day (you'll remember a couple of months back she was on a kick about wanting to have dinner at the Governor's house because her friend Ravi's parents had) he said we should stop by and ring the doorbell anytime.

You know, over the years, I've heard a lot of people say that they voted for Bush (or similar candidates) because they were the "kind of guy you could sit down and have a beer with." But Governor Dayton is truly that kind of guy, as exemplified by our interaction today, and I could not be more impressed with him.

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We continued on to our destination, which was Lookout Park, for a year-end gardening session, which got me thinking about LGA. That park, the Holly Tot Lot, and several of the other parks we frequent, are always packed with people. Other community facilities are equally important, as are government subsidies for the arts, community development, and other things that make the places we live truly places where people want to be. Yet they are necessarily the first places to get cut when LGA is slashed, and the city can't even consider expansion of green spaces or public amenities.

I love working on these kind of projects with my friends and think it's important to demonstrate community values to Beatrix. I don't mind working at the park, or on Holcombe Circle, or keeping up the urns over Ayd Mill Road. But it seems we are all richer when we have more of those kinds of places, and I wish my city had the funding to do it.

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Finally (as I cut down the rose bushes at my own house later this afternoon), I thought a lot about consumed resources. Rahm Emanuel has suggested a congestion fee for Chicago in his next budget, and to some extent it really makes sense. I have always lived in neighborhoods that attract people, where people go to walk, to shop, to hang out, to eat and drink and otherwise appreciate. I've lived in these places, and paid more in living costs, because I appreciate these things and want to be near them. But when people chose to live somewhere else, places that are cheaper because the community does not have these amenities, and then come to my neighborhood to consume the items, shouldn't they share in some of the cost?

Lessons from Belle

2011-10-19T11:07:00.003-05:00

I could learn a lot from our new kitty.

Belle is a complete pain-in-the-ass. 4 months old, full of energy. Everything is a game or a toy. She lopes around the house fearless as anything. She acts completely crazy. She scales the drawers in my wardrobe for fun. She steals my earrings for toys. She is constantly in everything, exploring everything — "What's this? How does it work? Its it for me?" And don't even get me started on her joy when we wake up in the middle of the night because Beatrix calls. It's PLAY TIME!!

Kind of self-evident, isn't it?

A Tale of Two Monkeys

2011-10-16T15:22:00.004-05:00

Two breakfasts this weekend at monkey places...

Yesterday, after circus class, we checked out Mojo Monkey Donuts, which just opened at 1169 W. 7th. The place was a complete madhouse, with a long line and people snapping up the donuts as soon as the trays were put in the cases. As annoyed as I got with the myriads of people ahead of me asking "When will [x flavor] be out? Can I wait for it? What's coming up next? How long EXACTLY?" our rhythms were perfect. Not only could we get some delicious glazed donuts, but Patrick was able to get one of just 3 of the maple frosted long johns with a strip of bacon on the top. patrick is not a donut person, but he assures me that this was near-perfection. He's already calculated how far he needs to run to eat two.

The staff was friendly, but clearly harried by all the questions. My suggestion? A whiteboard where you can easily write up the current flavors (and erase them as they disappear fast!), and maybe an East-coast style yell when a new favor comes in ("Tray up of banana creme!") But they just opened, and I am sure it will smooth out.

Today, brunch at Cheeky Monkey. We both love it there, and it's close by and we eat there every chance we can. Today we were happy to walk down with our own hungry cheeky monkey for brunch. It was crowded but not crazy when we got there, and the server arrived right away to take out order; mimosas and juice arrived soon after.

And then close to an hour after our order for the food. )insert cold death glare here)

Beatrix was squirmy and hungry but held up well, probably better than I did. Patrick and I have bad karma of sometimes turning invisible in restaurants, so we were not sure what had happened — was the kitchen slammed? Did they lose our order? This was exacerbated by the fact that our server kind of abandoned us, not stopping back to check on us, let us know that the kitchen was busy, see if we needed anything, offer to bring Beatrix's toast or something before she collapsed in a mess on the floor — anything. I took Beatrix outside several times to run around, and finally our food arrived — when Patrick said "Wow, the kitchen must have been busy" the waitress said "Like nobody's business," but nothing else, no "Sorry about the wait" or anything. Hours later, I'm still ticked.

It's a really tight market in the restaurant business right now, and I've been thinking a lot lately about that. Food margins are tough, and as annoying as the wait was, I was not expecting free food or anything. But I DO expect that, when there's a situation like that, the server will communicate with me. Today, there were a good 8 servers wandering the room. The manager should have had them go tho their tables and communicate with them "Look, the kitchen got slammed, it's going to be a longer than usual wait. Can I bring your toast out early? Is there anything else you need? I promise we're working on it as quickly as possible."

Instead, they had a whole place full of mad people wondering where their food was, and they blew a chance to make those people their allies. As I said, I love the Cheeky Monkey, but I'm not in a big hurry to go back. And that makes me sad.

New Skirt - But No New Boots

2011-10-14T16:16:00.003-05:00

I was completely convinced I was going to win Sellabit Mum's Nauturalizer giveaway. I had the perfect — AMAZING — boots picked up. I blocked out some shopping time. Then I devoted last night to embellishing a skirt that had been pretty plain jane, but that I thought would look great with them. In fact, I spent so long on the skirt that I missed the actual tweet with the winner...

...who was ONE COMMENT POST off of me, snug between two of my posts!

Life is not fair.

But in the meantime, you should be reading Tracy's blog, or liking her on Facebook, or following her on Twitter (@sellabitmum). She's pretty rockstar. Even if her random-number generator is defective.

At least I have the skirt.

Cathedral Hill Montessori

2011-10-11T21:11:00.002-05:00

If you've talked to me in person lately, you've likely been surprised by the passion with which I've embraced Beatrix's new preschool. Truth is, it's taken me somewhat by surprise as well.

We considered a lot of preschools last year, from Dodge Nature Center to Sunny Hollow to Jean Lyle to Mis Amigos Spanish Immersion. In the end, based on both cost and the fact that Beatrix had been in a home based environment for her care so far, we decided to go with a neighborhood rec center. We knew it was a solid program, even if we were not overly excited about it.

Then, in July, our lives collided with Whitney and Andy, who had purchased an amazing old home that had quite a checkered past as a nursing home/home for unwed mothers/boarding school/vacant building. Their dream was to convert the mid-century addition to the side of the house to a Montessori school, and the rest of the house to their home and a B&B. When we first heard about the idea we thought "It's so wacky it just might work!" When we met them, we knew it would.

I had initially ruled out Montessori for Beatrix for preschool. I thought it might be too structured for someone who had been in home daycare, while at the same time not being academically stimulating enough. But the new school was so appealing, and the more I talked to Whitney, the more converted I became. She convinced us to give it a try in the "mini-Montessori" they had set up for their 2 children (aged 3.75 and 1.5) — and Beatrix took to it like a duck to water. Meanwhile, I've been scrambling to learn more about Montessori principles and concepts.

So now every day I drop off Beatrix in this incredible environment where there is so much to do and experience. She goes in, hangs her lunchbox in her cubby, changes shoes, and settle right in. She tells us about her "presentations" about polishing, the tree, painting, window washing, and more. She's already gotten much better about letters and numbers (just ask her about the X in her name!) And she loves it that they go across the street to the park to play.

So yes, I'm converted. Sending Beatrix to Cathedral Hill Montessori is probably the best parenting decision we've made for her so far. And I'm always one to admit when I've changed my mind.

(Want more info? Their website is here, and their Facebook page here. The awesomely talented Glimpses of Soul Photography has photos from their Gala here and here. And yes, they are still enrolling — the official opening date is October 24!)

Love Where I Live (More)

2011-10-02T20:16:00.002-05:00

It was a crazy, full weekend, all of which reminded me how much I love where I live:

- Beatrix's circus class and breakfast afterwards at the Chatterbox.
- A gala opening at Beatrix's school — dancing in the yard to Lucy Michelle and the Blue Lapelles and Chris Koza more on this later.
- Dinner at Salut for Patrick's birthday (where they treated us like royalty), and then drinks at the Amsterdam, which may just be the perfect new downtown St. Paul hangout.
- The annual Mclaughlin Marathon Party today, which David carried off amazingly well even if it was bittersweet. There is nothing more beautiful than Summit Avenue on Marathon Sunday, and no better way to experience it than good food and good friends.
- Beatrix's friend Gwyneth's birthday party at the Children's Museum. She is so at home there and loves showing us everything.
- A surprise birthday party for our friend Sarah, which truly was a surprise.
- A trip down to the newly finished Holly Tot Lot, which was filled with young families on a beautiful summer evening. That playground has been so neglected for so long that it's especially wonderful to see it filled with life.

Fall Nesting

2011-09-22T16:13:00.002-05:00

I've been really tired lately, despite the fact that Beatrix is *finally* sleeping much better. I blames it on a heavy workload that takes up a lot of brain space, and then watching bad Netflix streaming and reading good books late into the night in order to relax.

But I have learned that exercise does help, so I've re-committed to pilates and love it. The Sweatshop just feels so comfortable to me, and I am trying to suss ways I can continue to go after my discount card runs out.

This afternoon I really wanted to just veg, but I had a training tonight to prepare for, and I had to clean off my desk to get to the materials. As part of that, I crossed off a whole bunch of small to-do items, and my work space looks so much better. Which is to say that maybe I would feel more rested if I just got a few more things done.

So I'm hoping to be a virtual whirlwind of productivity tomorrow — if you catch me on the internets, ask me why I'm not working!

New Headshot

2011-09-13T23:01:00.003-05:00

Ok, the MN Bloggers Conference was great, and I learned a lot of things.

But perhaps the best part was that I got new headshots, thanks to Glimpses of Soul Photography. Isn't she amazing?

Writing Exercises

2011-09-10T22:05:00.003-05:00

I attended the Minnesota Blog Conference today, and was happy to attend a session by Kate Hopper on writing. Part of the session was just devoted to writing, and she challenged us to write something evocative about our childhood, so here's what came out of a 7-minute free writing session:

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Why do I love summer? Because you say the word "summer" to me and I am instantly back in those neverending summer nights, wearing my pink striped kitty cat shortie pajamas (how can I even remember back so far? those pajamas barely fit Beatrix now) — and it's the middle of the night, and the light glows pink-gold in the upstairs hall, and the night is thick and glorious with sticky warmth. And I never know the difference between a tornado watch and a tornado warning, but my mother always does, and she scoops me up and brings me down to the basement where the yellowed white radio is set to WCCO radio, always scratchy and slightly off-station. I sit on the cool green squares of concrete, which feels so different from the still-thick air, and am allowed to sort through the divided boxes of shiny bright beads and sequins that live down there waiting for some upcoming craft project. And I don't even realize it but I've fallen asleep on the green wool army blanket, and my mother carries me back up to my still-slightly-stuffy pink and orange room and it's still summer and it always will be.

Missing Judy

2011-09-08T22:35:00.002-05:00

Since we've lived in our neighborhood, we've lost some really wonderful and influential friends. Marianne O'Brien, Rick Raiter, Pam Gru, Tom Segar,and many more, I think of you often and am grateful for what you have brought to my life. But this week, we lost Judy McLaughlin, and right now that loss seems unbelievably hard to bear.

Judy was one of the first people to take me under her wing when I moved into my neighborhood. She taught me how to stand for what I believed in politics, from the local level on up. She taught me how to throw events. She taught me how to care passionately about things, and to organize people to care along with you. She taught me about the importance of historic preservation. She taught me how to be a steadfast and caring friend. She taught me about the importance of tradition — and when and how to break it.

Her parties were legendary. For years I counted down to midnight in the Summit Manor living room, sipped wine in her backyard, and watched the runners at the Marathon on the final descent down the hill in front of her home (when they weren't stopping to get cups of water from Paul Wellstone, that is). I've spent numerous evenings with her at various local establishments that served various kinds of alcoholic beverages, summarizing board meetings, deciding what to do next, or simply laughing with a big group of friends. When I needed advice, or just someone on my side, I could always call Judy, and she always, always set me straight.

To some extent, Judy's not gone, because she lives in in her family, in the community that she loved so much, in the entire future of Saint Paul. But of course, in the everyday way we have lost her, and I already feel the loss more strongly than I could have expected.

Love Where I Live

2011-09-04T20:08:00.002-05:00

It's been the kind of weekend in which we have been able to take some time to enjoy where we live — and I have loved it!

Yesterday, I started a set of pilates classes at The Sweatshop, and it felt great to be doing it again (though my abs don't appreciate me today).

Then we went to breakfast at The Neighborhood Cafe on Selby. It's a favorite breakfast place — nice atmosphere, friendly service, basic but good food, and reasonable prices. They have a few kids toys and crayons for Beatrix. I keep on looking for a "better" breakfast place for variety, but I have to say, the Neighborhood is always almost perfect.

Afterwards, we took a few minutes to walk around the variety of stores at Selby and Snelling. Patina is always fun, but I really like all the smaller individual stores there. There's a tiny florist I had never noticed before, and the gate to the custom purse place was open, so we wandered back and found that they have a little courtyard with a waterfall and fish pond! We also went to Allee, because I love their clothes and really love that little courtyard. I wonder if residents and whop employees gather there at night and socialize over french wine?

Today we headed over to south Minneapolis and had breakfast an Anodyne, and then wandered around the Kingfield Farmer's Market. It's more expensive than the St. Paul market, but I love the vibe, and we always run into people we know (and today was no exception). We bought a really interesting basket of multicolored carrots, and the nice lady gave Beatrix a fresh carrot to snack on — she looked like a big bunny!

Tonight we made it to Republic just before Happy Hour ended, so we could enjoy 2 orders of the best fish tacos in town, some insanely addictive fries, and 2 beers, all for $20. I had not been there since their soft opening, and I was happy to know it's only gotten better. It amazes me that very little has actually changed int he decor of the place since it was Sgt. Preston's — same big taxidermy animals and stained glass lights — but change the expectations of the patrons, and the menu, and it becomes a whole new experience. We felt very welcome there with Beatrix, and really, those fish tacos are the best in the Twin Cities.

(and then we also hit Target for a princess lunchbox for Beatrix and Menard's for a lawnmower...)

Palumbo's Pizzeria

2011-09-01T23:40:00.004-05:00

It's been a long time since I've been very "foodie" in this blog (despite recently joining the MN Food Blogger's group), so I thought I would throw in a review of Palumbo's Pizza, which just opened in my neighborhood on Snelling Avenue. It's in a slightly cursed space, which has already closed down Blondie's and Geordie's. The new owners have started out well by pointing out how much parking there is! Still, I don't like the space (and never have) — there's something loud and strip-mall-like about it, and always a lingering musty smell.

I met co-workers who had been there before and loved it, and we all had the margherita pizza (my standard way to measure a pizza place). It was well-priced at $6 — in fact, almost everything on the menu is under $10. Most of the vegetarian items seemed almost TOO veggie heavy, though (really? zucchini in a calzone? doesn't that get mushy?), so I stuck to the old standard.

To be fair, my lunch mates loved their pizza. I was ... underwhelmed. I found it overcooked and dry, even with a sprinkling of olive oil. The tomato was sort of melted in to the cheese, which was overcooked, and the crust dry. I've had much worse pizzas, but this was nowhere near what I have come to love at Punch, or the excellent margherita at Pazzaluna, or oven the one I sampled at Scusi last week. Something was off in the balance of salt and flavor to me as well. But again, my lunchmates loved it, so what do I know!

The gelato, from Ring Mountain Creamery in Eagan, was lovely. Very creamy and fresh tasting, with samplers available at just $1 per generous scoop. They told us the salted caramel was the best seller, but I loved the stradella, with large chocolate chunks. The chocolate was actually a little icy and low on flavor for my taste. And I didn't even get to try the other three flavors.

(since it was lunch, I didn't try the wines or beers...)

The owner stopped by to see how we liked our meals, and in general the staff was friendly. Prices were good, and again, others seem to enjoy it more than I did. I'll likely be back, but it is not going to be at the top of my lit anytime soon.

Our State Fair is the Best State Fair...

2011-08-28T23:02:00.003-05:00

We've taken Beatrix to the Fair every year since she was a baby, but this year we achieved a milestone I've always wanted to do — went to the Fair, came home, then went back at night! (my friend rachel still has the best idea: Fair --> Saints game --> back to Fair). And, we achieved all this despite the fact I had a monster cold that made me want to die.

We got there later than we wanted (see above note about the cold, plus a night of almost no sleep for everyone). Once there, we started right in on the required food — a malt from the dairy building, plus a Scotch egg for Patrick. We then met up with our friends Abby and Qui and their son Sam, to enjoy toddler adorableness petting the pigs, goats, and sheep. From there, we wandered up to the Kidway, where we met more friends — Geri, Brian, and Ravi, so Beatrix and Ravi could enjoy rides together. the carousel was a big hit (Beatrix loves them right now), but the bumper boats and safari train were also popular.

Then lots more wandering around, some hot dogs and cheese curds and strawberry lemonade, before heading home.

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Tonight, when we went back, we watched a samba band at the International Marketplace (remember our youth, when it was the "Mexican Village"? And when did the "Space Needle" become the "Space Tower"?), then headed way up north to see the K9 show. we checked out the Passive House in the environment building (tip — also the nicest restrooms at the fair), the antique tractors, and Patrick's dream car, the new Fiat. We had some more food, including deep friend cookie dough, and looked around at the skyride and the lights, saw our friend Kristen's winning crop art, and headed home again.

Some observations:

- To Beatrix, the Park-and-Ride is almost as much fun as the Fair — she loves the bus and getting there.
- When asked about her favorite part of the Fair, though, she said "You would not let me go in the Wacky House and I wanted to!" Sigh.
- I'm kind of a Fair traditionalist on food. There are some things: mini donuts from the stand by the Grandstand, vanilla malt from the dairy building, that I have to have. Cheese curds are a nice extra, and the aforementioned cookie dough, a huge foodie blog hit around here, was delicious. But, maybe because I don't eat red meat, a lot of the "blablabla on a stick" leaves me uninterested. Patrick is a Sweet Martha's cookie fan, but I find them ridiculously expensive, and talked him out of them this year.
- I have incredible memories of going to the Fair with my mom, and staying all day. Now that I am older, I am excited to build some with Beatrix!

Travel Wish List

2011-08-25T14:18:00.003-05:00

Beatrix is getting old enough to travel, and so it's been on my mind a lot lately. Thought better than having these things swirl around in my head was getting them in a list:

Places I especially want to take Beatrix:
Well, anywhere in the world, really, but top on the list are:
- Orlando and Disney World
- New Orleans, so she can see where she comes from
- London

Places I really want to see (likely includes Beatrix! and of course Patrick):
- Macchu Picchu
- Turkey, especially Istanbul
- Costa Rica
- back to Spain
- Australia

House Facade - Before and After

2011-08-21T21:07:00.005-05:00

It's been quite a summer for exterior work. Here is what our place looked like at the beginning of the summer:

And the porch:

Not bad altogether, but certainly not what they could be.

The paint journey started last September, with severe damage after a hail storm. We spent literally months getting bids and going around and around with the insurance. Finally our agent stepped in and helped. This is the final work done by Mike Faricy Painting (and he writes books, too!) — we could not be happier!

But what you'll really notice is the porch. When I bought the house, the porch had blocky siding on it. When stabilizing the structure several months later, it was like Christmas when we tore off the rotted wood and found all this great, hand-carved woodwork underneath! However, despite many half-assed efforts at porch rehab, it had never really been done right. Our handyman extraordinaire, Bob Fortner, has bugged us about it for years, and he was right — "Look, that porch ought to be the jewel of the home. And that's no jewel."

This summer we set him loose on it, and he was right. He spent hours perfecting it, and it looks incredible!

So, if you need projects done, we certainly know where to send you! In the meantime, come and visit our newly-redone place!

Pool Parties

2011-08-20T20:35:00.002-05:00

Most Friday nights this summer, we've had pool parties at the Summit House. They've been very casual; we usually start by grilling something up and providing some beer, and people add to it as they arrive. People come as the can, through the front door, the side gate, the back. People bring more food and drink, until by the end of the evening the dining room table is filled completely. Kids of all ages jump immediately in the pool; their parents follow or hop in the hot tub; conversations groups form. All kinds of people, from a vast cross-section of our lives, attend, meeting new people and generally having a nice relaxing night out. At the end of each we've been tired but truly happy.

The pool parties, in a way, are somewhat metaphorical to our life. We could not be happier.

Perfect Birthday

2011-08-16T20:57:00.002-05:00

In Mandarin Chinese, "four" is a homonym for "death." In the same way that hospitals here don't have 13th floors, ones there don't have 4th floors (or if they do, it's the maternity ward.)

Which is to say that 44 is pretty damn old.

Luckily, we celebrated enough to feel young. Earlier that day I got the worst mani/pedi of my life (Groupon fail), then Patrick and I got free lunch at Noodles and Company and did some shopping. But we really celebrated that evening.

We started out with drinks and sushi at Masu Sushi and Robata in NE Minneapolis. Great space, fresh and tasty sushi (we had rolls, always the best way to test out a new place), and the robata (little grilled things on skewers) were the prefect complement to the drinks and sushi. Plus they sent over free shots of sake!

We then headed to the speakeasy-like atmosphere of the Marvel Bar for cocktails before dinner. Loved it — very cozy, perfectly mixed drinks, the kind of feeling you used to get at the New French.

Then dinner upstairs at The Bachelor Farmer. Very fresh, we tried lots of small plates. Made me proud to be Norwegian!

Finally, a Fringe show — the show itself (some dance piece I have already forgotten the name of) was not all that great, but it was wonderful to be out. Much as I love my life now, i do miss the night when we could go out to hip places and shows, and it was lovely to recreate that, if only for an evening.

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(Great rest of the weekend too — planted raspberries and mint, got yard work done at the Summit House, finally saw Nicole Curtis' Minnehaha place which is on the market and which you should buy, saw more Fringe shows, went to the wine bar with Krista...)

I and E

2011-08-11T21:10:00.003-05:00

Though I'm tired and have a migraine, it's been a great week. As well as Krista living with us, we had a houseguest for three days, Patricks's friend Mike from/who is Rohdesign. We had a playdate and dinner at Blackbird on Monday, friends over on Tuesday, Patio Night last night, and a fundraiser for Minnesotans United for All Families tonight. All a great lead up to my birthday tomorrow.

It's been great for me, the Extrovert. Not so much for poor Patrick, the Introvert. Nevertheless, he has been great at keeping things going, which I know has been hard when he's exhausted by all the people. I'm a very lucky girl.

Insurance Scam

2011-07-29T15:29:00.003-05:00

I just switched birth control pills. My doctor, who I love, spent some time going through her little prescription book to find a brand that would qualify for the much-advertised $4 a month rate.

When I got to the Target pharmacy, though, it rang up at $28.86. When I asked about that, they said the $4 a month rate was only if it ran through insurance, and I was listed as uninsured. So they re-rang it and I waited around for 30 minutes.

At which point in came up at $29.96 because that was the insurance rate. Apparently, because I have a high-deductible plan, the $4 rate does not apply — it DOES, however — the cashier helpfully explained — apply for Viagra and a handful of other items. When I asked why the insurance rate was higher than the un-insured rate, I was informed, with a straight face, that it was "a SERVICE on the part of the insurance company, so that people could reach their deductibles quicker."

I declined the "service" and made them re-ring it.

You just can't make this stuff up.

Pinterest Mash-Up

2011-07-24T21:51:00.002-05:00

For a long time, i've been looking for a new jewelry storage system. I had my necklaces tossed into a dresser drawer, and then my earrings hanging on an old, metal peacock shaped holder than was a little teenage for my taste. I had liked pictures I have seen online of earring holders that used a picture frame for that purpose — the earrings hung inside the frame on pieces of screen, or wire strung across, or even foamboard.

But then I saw one that used wine corks and I was like "THIS is it!" You probably know I love wine corks and am always looking for great ways to use them.

The only frame I had in the right dimensions, though, was basic balsa wood. I figured I would paint it, maybe glue on some buttons or something for interest.

Then, I was putting away things from our road trip and inspiration hit. I had loved an image on Pinterest that framed photos form a vacation and used a map for the mat. I could cover the frame with our Boston map! Which I did, and I think it looks great!

So, for a grand cost of $0 since I had all the materials on hand, I have a great new way to store my jewelry and stay organized (worth a fortune around here.) I do, however, still keep an antique teacup by my bed to store my watch and earrings when I forget to take them off before bedtime, which pretty much happens every night...

Blaming the Victim

2011-07-22T16:17:00.002-05:00

As I type this, I am watching a Twitter exchange between the MPR NewsCut blogger (Bob Collins) and several of my friends on Twitter. In a short version, Collins tweeted:

The idea of a youth camp run by a political party is kinda scary.

Several people (my friends included) called him out on this, and it's degenerated into kind of a Twitter snipe-fest; though anyone is welcome to have their own views, I don't think that if I were tweeting for public radio I would respond is such a curmudgeonly manner.

What Collins fails to grasp is that he is more than welcome to his opinion about whether or not political parties should run camps. But to make that your very first tweet on the subject after tweeting earlier simply that you were "Following Oslo..." reeks of "blame the victim." I think it someone had commented after Columbine that it was a "scary high school," there would have been all kinds of offense taken — and rightfully so.

Collins' comment is not unusual. It's not really all that different than wondering out-loud "Well, what was she doing there?" when finding out a woman was attacked in a bad neighborhood, or any other comment that draws an unwarranted relationship between unrelated issues. He claims that:

What I said was I like to think ppl who folo me are able to differentiate btween finding camps scary & wishing ill on attendees.

If so, why make the comment now, as your first impression of the Norway shootings? What Collins fails to grasp is that cause and effect don't stop with an issue, they continue into the reporting on it. Twitter, blogs, and other citizen-journalist methods are rapidly gaining ground as how we learn about things. And I think we owe them all a little more thought.

Read Local

2011-07-18T09:58:00.003-05:00

Recently, I had a bad experience with, of all things, a New York Times column. A writer there was a lurker on a private message board that I belong to, and lifted some quotes from a thread on that board to use in her column, without clearing it with the original posters. Sloppy journalism/poor ethics aside, it got me thinking about reading things written by people you know, or who are in your community.

Admittedly, I am lucky in this regard. The Twin Cities has a virtual plethora of local writers — mostly penning mysteries — of which my favorites over the years have been John Sandford, Erin Hart, and occasionally Tami Hoag. This month, my aunt is going to a garden party featuring local author Marisha Chamberlain, who I originally knew as a playwright and who has written the exquisite The Rose Variations.

Lately, I found out that one of my neighbors and all-time favorite people, Mike Faricy, is an excellent author of truly compelling mysteries. And of course my husband, Patrick Rhone's book Keeping It Straight is a must-read.

What local authors have you been reading?

Children's Day

2011-07-16T21:40:00.002-05:00

Today we did various Beatrix-themed activities, and it was a blast!

This morning, we use dour brand new membership to go to the Children's Museum with our friends Leah (plus Maesie and Ella) and Erica and Joe (plus Olivia). Everyone had a ton of fun, though we all ended up spread out all over — it was helpful to have the extra parents around to keep an eye on the kids! Beatrix gets to go to the Children's Museum often with Clara and Alex, so it was great to have her show us around.

We then had lunch at the Cheeky Monkey (though Leah had to go). Though we ate inside, I am in lust with their new patio, and hope to go back soon.

Before naps, we checked out our friend Krista's gorgeous new house, which is just perfect for her. I'm in love with it! Then long naps (for everyone).

We went to see Milly and Tillie tonight at Open Eye. Beatrix is a M&T groupie, having seen it several time last year, and I am sure we'll be back this year. Seriously, do yourself a favor and go, whether you have kids or not. Tickets are dirt cheap ($5 adults/$1 kids), the show is incredibly enjoyable for all ages, and there's free ice cream afterwards. I mean it! GO!

Pimp My Block!

2011-07-14T22:28:00.002-05:00

Wow, suddenly everyone on our block is fixing up their place!

Thanks to the hailstorm last year, pretty much everyone got new roofs — except us and our neighbor, who had just gotten new roofs. We did get approval from insurance to get our house painted though, and we're rebuilding our porch, and both look great!

But on a walk around the block with Beatrix tonight, I noticed how much work is being done. The house across the street got new porch furniture. A house halfway down the block has a whole new porch, and the one next to that is getting painted/restained (that house needs a lot of love...). The condos at the end put in a new brick path.

I love our neighborhood!

Foodie Dream Vacation

2011-07-07T22:14:00.004-05:00

I kind of lost focus with the trip blogging because of sporadic internet, yet another glitch with the autopost to Facebook (why does that happen?), and mostly because I was, you know, too busy having a vacation and hanging with friends to write. Obviously, I'm not going to get hired as a travel blogger anytime soon.

I should be, though! Mainly because out time in the Finger Lake area was pretty much the best foodie vacation ever!

To place it in context, we stayed with my college room-mate and still one of my closest friends ever, Molly. She and her family (wonderful husband and two charming boys who Beatrix loves to pieces) have a cottage on Lake Cayuga. Even better, they have a completely separate guest cottage, so we had our own space when we wanted it, but could just hang out as well. They kids went wild playing while the adults got to hang around and eat, and talk, and drink, and read — perfection!

But the foodie part...

Our first day, we were excited to discover that there were several cheesemakers in the area as well as vineyards. We packed up the kids and headed to the Lively Run Goat Dairy, where we were able to sample all the cheeses, then tour the farm so the kids could pet the goat, see the piglets, etc. Their cheese was amazing — herbed chevre, a very smooth Cayuga blue, a soft cheese called Eidelweiss, and a perfectly salty feta. They actually buy much of the milk from local Amish farmers and keep a small herd to milk and use to to try new cheeses, to great effect.

We then visited Bellewether (hard) Cider, where the kids ran around outside and played with the cats while we did a cider tasting. Delicious, and so refreshing! We bought several bottles to bring home.

Somehow, the boys never made it to the vineyards, but Molly and I were able to make it to two. Wine tasting is the perfect way to try some new things while chatting and catching up, and we took full advantage of that. The first day we went to the Thirsty Owl, which was very good, and we were able to take a nice walk around the premises. My favorite, though, was Goose Watch Vineyard, which featured great views, an 8-pour tasting for $2, and some lovely reds. We even picked up some juice for the kids.

Lots of wineries (and dairies, and cider places, and distilleries) we did not hit, so I guess we need to go back...

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(Oh, and the best part? I don't have the picture, but the double full rainbow that arched across the lake just hours before the New York legislature approved the Marriage Equality Bill. So much hope for the future!)

Mad in Minnesota

2011-07-05T20:40:00.004-05:00

Lost momentum on the blog during the trip between too much to do, some kind of messed up feed to Facebook, and internet issues. Ruminating on some posts but need to get more caught up first.

In the meantime, here's a guest post of sorts I did on the "Mad In Minnesota" blog.

Road Trip - Day 3

2011-06-24T20:58:00.002-05:00

I posted in an on-line board that Beatrix was "travelling like a rockstar" and a friend wanted to know if she was throwing parties and trashing hotel rooms. Well, kind of...

Yesterday what should have been a 9-hour day was 12 hours due to construction and monsoon-like rains. I have never seen rain like that, that lasted that long. Constant hydroplaning and driving through lake-like flooding, and visibility so bad we could often not see the car in front of us. It was insane.

We finally reached Molly and Bernard's place on Lake Cayuga and settled in — and it was worth the drive. Their cabin is charming, the view incredible, and we're all having a great time. Beatrix's favorite part of today was "seeing the ducks on the lake," though I think she had a lot of favorites, actually — "swimming," playing with the dog, playing with the 6 and 9 year old boys, and generally having a lot of freedom.

We have our own little guest cottage, so have plenty of space and privacy, while getting to hang out with wonderful friends. It's the best of all worlds.

I'm having the perfect foodie vacation — today we visited a goat dairy and had wonderful cheese (plus the kids loved the goats), tasted some incredible hard cider, and visited a lovely vineyard.

I needed this vacation!

Road Trip Day 1

2011-06-22T20:36:00.002-05:00

(Before I post, I should add the requisite warning that we have left vicious dog, burly housesitter, a cadre of contractors, etc. at home, so if you are reading this with the intention of stealing all we own while we are gone, think twice.)

Made it as far as South Bend, IN, today, and staying at a very lovely Residence Inn courtesy of our first experience with Priceline. large semi-suite with full kitchenette, family feel, pool and hot tub, internet, free breakfast, and even a free dinner with tumblers of wine to bring back up to our room. What's not to like? Thanks for the tip, Elaine!

Beatrix was really an awesome traveller, and I hope I haven't just jinxed our luck by saying that. We had a great day all hanging out together, playing car games, telling stories, and stopping for periodic breaks. Whether climbing the play equipment at the rest stop, doing jumping jacks at Chipotle, or watching for cows/sheep/horses, it was a lot of fun. I even got to ride in the front seat like an adult the whole day! (of course, I'm too wiped to get any work done, how does sitting in a car and navigating all day do that to you?)

Wish us the same experience tomorrow!

House-work

2011-06-21T15:22:00.002-05:00

Over the years, I've worked off and on for a local realtor, writing brochure copy for his high-end homes. For whatever reason, he has not called me to do write-ups lately, and I was missing the experience.

However, today he called me and had me walk through two houses, and it was so much fun! I'll admit that, in the past, writing about painfully similar, new-construction suburban homes has sometimes been challenging; though they are each distinctive in some way, they often have many of the same amenities, and it's hard to make them stand apart. Luckily, the two I walked through today were lovely and very different — a Lundie-inspired lake cottage, and a relatively new home that was especially distinctive and charming.

Glad to be back at it!

2011-06-19T16:18:00.002-05:00

I'm a champion at finding ways to distract myself from deadlines.

In grad school, as I was studying for comps, I developed an all-consuming interest in make-up (you can see how well that worked). While planning our wedding, I worked on the house.

Now, two days before we leave for a cross-country trip and as all my clients are freaking out that I'll be out of the office for 10 days, I have developed a consuming passion for Pinterest. Rather than packing or getting work done, I'm scouring sites and pinning ideas.

I think I need a vacation...

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(I can be found on Pinterest here, if you're interested in wasting time with me...)

"Scene" at Play by Play

2011-06-17T15:45:00.003-05:00

In some ways, there's no point in me adding my voice to something that others have said far better than I. But this morning, Patrick, Beatrix and I headed down to the all-too-sad closing sale at Play by Play Books. As Beatrix played in the shop that she loves and feels at home with (and rifled the candy bowl), and as Patrick discussed on the phone with him mom what books she needed, I looked around and already felt a profound sense of loss. I wanted to buy every book in the store, to give them homes, to know that that knowledge was somewhere safe. Even more, I wanted the sense of community that Kelly has worked so hard to foster. But as Kelly gave up her dream to realize, community is harder to form than you might think.

I'm not saying anyone in particular is to blame — not those who did not shop there, not Kelly for her choice of location, to construction or Amazon.com or anything else. But I am saying that I picked up a big bag of books today for $80, and while times have been pretty tight lately and books are just one of the things I have not been buying, well, that purchase would not have been much more, and would have done Kelly a lot more good, 2 months ago. So I guess what I've learned is that if I want something in my community, I have to be part of it. I know that intellectually, but this was a pretty hard-hitting demonstration.

If you want to support Kelly and Play by Play, there's a lot left in the closing sale, going on now. But what would mean perhaps as much to her? If there's a local place that you love, go in this weekend. Make a point to support them, to tell them you want them in your community.

I'm sorry, Kelly. I'm going to miss your dream more than you know.

Happy Anniversary

2011-06-15T08:56:00.002-05:00

I can't believe it's been five years since I was lucky enough to marry Patrick Rhone. In some ways it seems like it was just yesterday — I remember all the details of the candlelit ceremony so vividly, and it feels like we have just begun our lives together. In other ways, it feels like we have fit an entire lifetime of experiences in those five years. Though we've experienced a lot of hardship, there's been a lot of magic too, and when I think about our life and what we have — careers we love, a beautiful daughter, amazing family and friends, two fantastic houses — it just doesn't get much better.

Thanks to a babysitting night from Krista Walsh, we were able to go out to Travail last night and have an incredible, 10-course tasting menu as we celebrated our first five years of marriage and talked about the future. As incredible as the meal was, it pales to the company. Happy anniversary, honey! I love you!

Groupon Shopping Success

2011-05-31T16:54:00.003-05:00

I think this is the point where I admit my email in-box full of deals is like a little morning treasure trove. However, I have several friends who are extremely anti-Groupon(type offers), and I appreciate their advocacy for supporting local business.

But in my best-of-all-worlds experience yesterday, I discovered and supported two local businesses, which I plan to return to often and promote, due to their great customer service and sense of place.

I actually discovered Shoe Zoo via a coupon this winter. They have a reputation for being expensive that kept me away, but with the deal-site offer, I decided to try it out. I've since become a big convert; their shoes are the same price as anywhere else and are often on sale, the upstairs outlet is AMAZING, the staff is great, and they send Beatrix home with a free balloon. She always finds shoes there that she loves. Far more rewarding than scouring the internet for deals. This weekend I used the deal offer stacked with 20% off the outlet, so threw in a pair of shoes I would not ordinarily have purchased. Now my one-stop kids shoe store.

We then headed to Sunnyside Gardens, a new-to-us neighborhood garden center. I find plenty to overwhelm me at neighborhood garden centers, plus stellar service and personality, without having to go to huge places, thanks! (plus I love that smaller places often have more unusual plants). We bought great annuals for the planters in the backyard, and can hardly wait to go back.

So, a great family morning shopping, good deals, and a newly converted customer who will return and spend much more — I would say that everyone wins in this case!

Veolia

2011-05-26T09:50:00.003-05:00

And here's an example of customer service issues that have gotten completely out of control.

For several years, I have had 2 properties served by Veolia, the Summit house and the Ashland house. Literally EVERY TIME I sent in payment, they would mess it up and apply the payments to the wrong account, resulting in a credit to one account and arrears to the other. Several phone calls, late charges, etc. later, they would solve it, only to make the exact same mistake in the next bill.

So I switched Ashland to e-bill. That way I could send the paper check from Summit, and pay Ashland on-line. I successfully do this for 2 billing cycles.

They forget to pick up the Christmas tree I asked them to haul, and by the time I got through to them to solve it it was too late, but at least the billing was correct.

Except then they "upgraded" the e-bill. Which apparently meant that everyone had to re-register, but they did not tell anyone that. So I didn't get an e-bill. I eventually got a paper bill, which I put aside until I realized "Hey, I have not gotten a bill in awhile" and promptly paid it.

I sent the bill on May 10, they processed it May 13, and it cleared my bank on May 16. They did not pick up the trash on the 17th or the 24th. I call today to see what is up with this, and basically they suspended service, and entered the check, so now I have a big outstanding credit.

So even though it's their fault that:
- they did not e-bill me
- that the entered the payment incorrectly

I have to pay them $30 to come out and pick up my trash. The "customer service" agent then decided it was appropriate to berate me for not opening the paper bill (you know, the one I was not supposed to get so was not looking for) and paying it earlier.

I terminated service (for which they plan to charge me $35 in a friendly touch), and immediately signed up with Allied Waste who was very helpful and happy to have my business.

I could go on in a parable about the customer service issues here, but I think you get my point. If you own a business, remember that YOUR CUSTOMERS ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE, even if you make it difficult for them to exercise that.

More House News!

2011-05-22T21:18:00.004-05:00

In an anecdote that will no doubt amuse those of you familiar with my house obsessions, Beatrix does NOT, as many of her friends do, have an imaginary friend. She has an imaginary house, which she refers to constantly as "my new house." Descriptions of it vary, but it appears to be brown, 2-story, sometimes very close by and sometimes far away, and have a pool with icky green water in the back. She lives there with her grandfather, who sometimes lets her watch all the TV she wants and sometimes won't let her watch it at all. It has a horsey bed. And someday, if we're good, we can visit her there.

In a solution that is perhaps nowhere as grand as her "New House," last weekend we got Beatrix a playhouse off of Craig's List (the pictures are dark because I took them in the garage before we moved it into the yard). It's pretty amazing, actually, with windowboxes (which we planted with marigolds yesterday), closing shutters that cover the windows (because faux shutters that would not actually fit over the windows are the bane of my existence), a doorbell that works, and nice sturdy construction. I can already tell it's going to be a summer of playhouse games. Which suits me just fine.

New New Moon

2011-05-14T11:46:00.003-05:00

I've mourned the passing of Theatre de la Jeune Lune much more that I thought I would (even after spending over 12 years working there). Seeing the building sit empty and leaking, going to shows that critics called "Jeune-Lune reminiscent" but weren't quite there, even the momentos in our home.

So it's been really good for me, in the last few weeks, to see some amazing shows that perhaps begin a new era.

Over at Nimbus Theatre, Barbra Berlovitz stars in Joan Didion's The Year of Magical Thinking. Barbra is such a compelling performer, and the book is one of my all-time favorites, so I was a little afraid to see it on stage. But the performance is amazing — luminescent and powerful — that it reached to my inner being in the way that theatre does more than any other medium. Her performance, like the book, gains its ultimate effect from the passion of dispassion, and Barbra is spot-on. I've seen her perform since Jeune Lune, but nothing liek this.

Then, last night, we went to the opening night of Come Hell or High Water, by The Moving Company (the new Dominique Serrand and Steve Epp company, which also featured Nathan Keepers and Christina Baldwin and a large and very talented chorus. I don't even have words. The actors I know well have matured and somehow gotten even better, for incredibly stirring performances. Those new to me were a delight. The scenography was beautiful and evocative; the story all the more compelling if you listen to NPR today. I'm still thinking about the show.

I've recently seen Bob's studio; I know that Vincent is happy in France; I even caught a glimpse of a hard-hat tour Steve Richardson led down at Carleton.

For the first time, it seems like there might be a post-TJL world that incorporates the passion and poetry I had while I was there. I hope so.

See the shows.

Coming to Terms with Mother's Day

2011-05-08T17:58:00.003-05:00

So once again I face the inherent emotional conflict that has come to be Mother's Day for me.

In some ways, it's beyond perfect. Patrick went out of his way to make me way ideal, taking care of me, an incredible gift that he knew I really wanted (more on that later), sleeping in, coffee, a haircut, a nap, relaxation. The Hanafin family has a Mother's Day Brunch tradition; for the last several years it's been at the Lake Elmo Inn, and that was delicious. Beatrix got me a board book about animal moms ("I picked it out for myself!"), which I know is Clara validating how important reading with Beatrix is to me. I'm trying really hard to even think about work and domestic tasks that are stacked up, and to just enjoy the day. Were the story to end here, it would be lovely.

But it doesn't. There's always a hole in the day where my mother should be. There's the societal expectation that I *should* probably be done grieving, when the truth is that I just grieve in a different way, a way that often sneaks up on me and strikes me unawares. I am starting to know more people who are losing parents, and even some that are losing children — an unimaginable grief — and when we talk about how we feel, I'm always struck by the fact that out experiences are so universally the same.

With others that our motherless, particularly, we discuss how it feels to have lost the person in your life who knew you the longest, with whom you always had that relationship of interwoven strength and vulnerability. With those who are moms, we talk about how we wish we had asked so many more questions of what we were like when we were young; we commiserate about how jealous we are when other people's mothers take care of the kids for the night or spoil the kids with a special holiday outfit; most of all, we feel terrible that our children don't have those grandmothers that by rights they should have.

There isn't any way to magically fix this, and in some ways, that's the hardest part. The people in my life work their hardest to try to make it better for me, by giving Beatrix grandmother-like experiences, by letting me know that they remember my mom and are thinking of me, by working really hard to make my Mother's Day lovely. In no way do I mean to seem ungrateful, because I see these things and they mean SO much to me. But I miss my mom terribly, and I want her here, and there's not a day in my life when I wonder if there wasn't something different I could have done to have her still with us.

A New Era

2011-05-02T19:12:00.004-05:00

9/11 was, literally, a different lifetime ago. I was still at Jeune Lune, still married to Chris, my mother was in perfect health...We had a Jeune Lune intern living with us, and his girlfriend was visiting from New York for the weekend, so stayed several extra days. Together, like everyone else in the country, we watched hours of footage and wondered how it would mean the world would change.

That was soon answered. Years of colored threat levels, of shoeless airports and travel containers, of subway bombs and nightclub attacks, of vilifying the Islamic other and politicizing the personal (and the idiotic) until many times I don't recognize the world. At the same time, we've developed a citizen-journalism based news network (including my Twitter feed that kept me amused, informed, and exasperated last night), and elected our first Islamic congressman.

The news of Osama's death last night was a very adult moment for me. It's the first time I can remember waiting anxiously for the whitehouse.gov broadcast, and thinking about how the world would hopefully be very different for my daughter. I'm not glad — I don't think I could ever rejoice about someone's death, no matter how evil they were. I fear for retaliation, and I fear just as much the "easy answer" of thinking that now that Bin Laden is gone, the kind of extreme hatred/fear/misunderstanding that engendered the whole situation will somehow magically be over. I certainly don't know how to go back to as it was before, and I'm not sure we want to anyway. This is a far too simplistic way (because that what blogs are for) of summing up some very complex thoughts that I still have not fully considered.

But it feels like just *maybe*, if we don't fuck it up, it could be some kind of new beginning. I hope so.

Work

2011-04-24T19:35:00.004-05:00

It seems like my only answer, lately, when people ask what I've been doing has been "work." To which people often respond "I'm never really sure what you do." So I thought it would add clarity to get it all written down:

- Regular clients: I have five regular clients — Circus Juventas, Open Eye Figure Theatre, the MN State Council of SEIU, the Mental Health Association of MN, and the Macalester-Groveland Community Council. For each of these organizations, I go in 1-2 time a week for a few hours at a time, generally solving their business management needs. This ranges from the basic needs, like accounting, budgets and payroll, to audit prep, to human resources, to all kinds of things like solving sales tax exemption, clearing up invoices, correcting wrong invoices, insurance needs, workers comp audits, and the like.

- Strategic planning: I'm currently working with the Rosemount Area Arts Council, the Arts Consortium of Carver County, and the Dakota County Arts Collaborative to set up strategic plans for these burgeoning community-based arts organizations. It's really fun work, tapping into my twin passions of arts and community. I'm very surprised at how different each organization is, proving that there is no one standard approach.

- Evaluation: As well as the focus groups and other evaluation I am doing for the community groups above, I am in the process of coordinating a set of focus groups and other evaluation techniques for the Metropolitan Regional Arts Council. Working with MRAC and the people in the focus groups has also been interesting and informative.

- Tour booking: I've been working with Theatre of Fools to book a tour of their vaudeville shows throughout Minnesota, as part of a MSAB grant (plus I've been working with them on some front of house and social media). This has been the hardest nut to crack, since even with Legacy Fund monies, outstate performing arts venues are still often as cash-strapped as their metro-area counterparts. So if you're running a performance venue in Minnesota, let's talk — I have a great, mostly-subsidized show to bring you!

- Fundraising: I've been working with Nimbus Theatre on a capital campaign for their new space. They've amazed me by turning a vacant, unheated warehouse into a cozy theatre in six weeks in time for their first show of the season, and are about to open The Year of Magical Thinking with Barbra Berlovitz next week.

- Grant panels: I'm currently sitting on two grant panels, so have spent most of my reading time in the past several weeks reading grants. This can be especially tricky because you can't read too many in a row without your mind turning into mush.

- Preservation: Tom Zahn (Thomas R. Zahn and Associates; I'm often the Associate) and I have recently finished up several projects, and are currently bidding on several more. Bids take as long as project work often does, since they usually need to be fully researched, but no one pays you to bid! Plus, as president of SARP I'm working on a lot of (unpaid) preservation work, including the upcoming Garden Stroll.

So when I say "work," it's really what I mean. I love what I do, but after looking at that list I have to get out and have some fun — suggest something to me! Conversely, I am always looking for new projects, so hit me up...

Earth Day

2011-04-21T20:15:00.003-05:00

This is what I know about Earth Day this year:

1) Old Navy is collecting old flip-flops starting tomorrow to recycle into playground mulch. Since I hate flip-flops and think they signify all that's wrong with America, I highly endorse this effort.

2) Lots of places are giving away free coffee when you bring in your travel mug. Caribou and Starbuck's are the usual suspects, but you had better not get in the way of my salted caramel latte at Common Roots.

3) Origins is letting you trade in your old cleanser for their stuff, and the Disney Store is giving away free carry bags if you turn in 5 plastic ones.

4) I am not telling Beatrix about Earth Day yet, because she goes nuts for holidays. However, we are at loose ends tomorrow night because Patrick is at some media event, so I suppose we'll have to find a way to celebrate...

Reading

2011-04-20T22:27:00.002-05:00

No, I haven't been writing. I've been reading — strategic plans, grant proposals, a little Bill Bryson. And lots of numbers. It's good, but better when I'm writing.

Her Hysterical Nostalgia

2011-04-08T21:38:00.002-05:00

Lovely date night tonight at Blackbird (first time since they re-opened), and then to see Week 3 of It's Women's Work at Open Eye. Blew me away.

Zhauna's work has captivated me since I first saw her with the Dolls, some 20+ years ago. She's the kind of performer who pulls you in to the piece, to take an active role in experiencing it. Distinctive as her aesthetic is. she has not had as many chances as she likely should have to create her own work, and we talked about that, and her vision for this piece, a few weeks back at an Open Eye event. Granted, I don't see enough dance to begin with, but tonight's piece was one of the more compelling artistic experiences I have had in some time. Each time I close my eyes they are filled with images and with power.

Go see it. Saturday at 8 and Sunday at 7 at Open Eye — reserve tickets now, because tonight was full and once word gets out, it will get fuller.

--

Also amazing images by the very talented Keri Pickett. Happy I could share this wonderful date night with my wonderful husband who gets it.

Other Mother

2011-04-05T22:10:00.002-05:00

This post is part of The Week of Understanding, which has already taught me a lot about putting myself in someone else's shoes.

When I was fourteen, I realized I didn't want to be a mother. I had a summer "mother's helper" kind of job in which I cared for two young children, and much as I loved them, I was very happy to turn them over to their mother at night. In college, I remember my friend Fran sprawled out studying with he, with her head on my stomach, exclaiming "I have never heard a more barren womb!" My career and lifestyle — lots of long and irregular hours, nightly events, a house filled with hazards, world travel — were in no way child-oriented. We had a lot of friends who were childless by choice, and many more whom, though I enjoyed being with their kids, I felt that same relief at the end of the night.

And then, all in a breath, my life changed. I was no longer at the demanding job that had defined my life for the last decade, my marriage ended, and most of all, my mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Though at that time I did not actively decide I wanted to be a mother, I certainly mourned the exclusion of it from my life, because at that time that door seemed very firmly closed.

Two years later, another major change. I was married again, I had two stepsons who I loved dearly, and on Christmas Day, my mother passed away. With us both turning 40 later that year, we took a deep breath and thought "Why not?" And almost at that exact some moment of that exhalation of hope, our daughter was conceived.

So now I'm at that other side of motherhood. Some things are the same, and some are very different. I'm in another demanding job, which I love, but it has flexibility and it has to stop when my daughter needs me, and for both my clients and me, that's ok. We travel, perhaps not as spontaneously or exotically as before, but travelling with her seems to mean more, too. I'm already planning the Big Trips, and even the ones like Disneyworld. We go out less, but as I put it "We don't go out for as many fun things, but every day is immeasurably more fun." I have to say that the morning Princess Dance Party beats the vast majority of the Ironic Hipster Events I've been to in my lifetime. And so, for a choice that seemed to perhaps offer me less, I am given more and more each day.

Old Friends

2011-03-31T21:32:00.002-05:00

I love it when my worlds collide, and it's been happening a lot this week.

Tonight I was able to finally experience live the photography of Deb Sussex, who I first met in a winter camping week at Widji 31 years ago. I can't believe how great it was to see her agin, having lost touch so many years ago, and to see her beautiful work glowing on the Open Eye gallery wall was amazing (do see it, if you can, it's up all weekend and selling fast!)

I was able to talk to my beautiful artist friends Nance and Mary, who I have also not seen in a long time, and learn about exciting adventures in their lives and their families.

Best of all, I was able to hug and laugh with and talk with my amazing friend Nine, and her stunningly impressive daughter Hannah. Nine has held the title of "best friend" since I first met her that same week at Widji. Over the years we've walked in the snow, written long letters, seen each other when we can, and though we don't communicate nearly often enough, have been in each others' hearts. I was reminded as we talked just how well she knows me, and how much we can easily just pick things up. And I was so happy she could talk to Patrick and see my beautiful, spirited little girl (who is just as at home as she can be on the Open Eye stage).

A mutual friend once wrote me "Nine is a witch who uses her powers for good to show people how to love," and it's true. Seeing the beautiful smile on my friend's face as we walked in the door and as she immediately ran over to hug us was one of the best parts of my year so far.

Raising a Reader

2011-03-27T21:28:00.002-05:00

For as long as I can remember, reading has been an integral part of my life. My mother swore I was reading by age 2, and I honestly can't remember a time that I didn't have at least one book going. To this day, I have a bad habit of trying to hurry through things so I have more time to read.

I've tried hard not to let the importance of reading in my life unduly influence Beatrix. Though there is nothing that I would like more than for her to love reading as much as I do, and though we've tried to make books important by having lots of them around, by taking her to bookstores and libraries, and by reading to her, I've tried not to push it too hard. She has a lot of other experiences in her life (like music and circus) that I did not have, and it's important to me that she finds her own interest and passions.

Recently, though, she's seemed to have a real interest in books. She's been very interested in having me read them to her, and in "reading" them herself (which generally involves holding them open and looking at them, sometimes describing the story to me). It's been a banner week for books, in which she got one new book at Common Good Books, a couple more at the Red Balloon (where a bunny was visiting, so now she forever thinks that all bookstores have bunnies and I am afraid to take her to Wild Rumpus), and then some more today at Half Price and from the library. Her favorite book off all time is a theatre book she got from Kelly at Play by Play Books, which is too old for her but that she reads every day anyway.

I love that my daughter is learning to love books and reading, but I'm also pleased at another message here — that we generally get books from local places that we know and love, that can help us find stories that we will treasure, where we feel at home and where we can even sprawl out on the floor with a bunny or two. I think those lessons are as important as learning to read.

But I really can't wait until the times that all three of us can spend a rainy Saturday afternoon sprawled out on various couches together, reading. Bliss.

Home and the Heart

2011-03-25T20:20:00.003-05:00

Some little known things about me and my complicated relationship to our two houses:

1358 Summit
- Is the house I grew up in. My parents bought it in the mid-1960s (1965?) from a man named Jesse Brown, who was an early flipper. When they bought it — for $20,000! — he had "improved" everything with coats of viscous green paint.
- It was built in 1916 for a couple to retire in, thus is less extravagant than you would expect it to be.
- My room for much of my childhood was the maid's room, done in psychedelic pink and orange with a mirrored wall. It was so small I had to have an extra short bed, and beads instead of a door to my closet. It's why I'm so short.
- My mother took off all the doorknobs to paint the doors when I was around 4. Over the years they never got put on (nor did the doors really get painted), and to this day you have to wander around with a doorknob on a shank to get in and out of rooms.
- The addition was put on when I was in high school, and the pool when I went to college. Thanks, mom.

627 Ashland
- Was purchased as a HUD house for $58,000 in 1993. Sadly, I've refinanced since then.
- Was built in 1886 by Sarah T. Chapin, whose occupation was listed as "widow." It was the first home she actually owned, having gotten the money to build the house from land speculation. She lived here with her two daughters, with her son living about a block away. There's a ton of information about the family at the MHS, and our friend Walt (who we first met when they lived down the block) turns out to be a relation.
- We're slowly getting to finish the renovation work throughout. Most of it is sweat equity, though the roof and furnace that we put in last year (and the windows the winter before) were done by contractors.
- The intricate gingerbread on the front porch had all been hidden under a rotting wood enclosure.

Some general house things about living with me:
- I hate fluorescent lights. Loathe them. It may be the only thing I agree with the GOP on. Though I understand energy savings I really don't think I can live with this, and am breathlessly hoping for an alternative, soon.
- I tend to have NPR on in every room of the house, and just float through the radio waves.
- I'm picky about cleaning, and far prefer the rag and bucket method of cleaning everything. Which often means it doesn't get done. I'm also kind of nutty about separating the recycling.
- I've recently realized I am a very good painter, much like realizing I was a good writer in college.
- I let magazines stack up so I can go through them to pull articles, then stack up the articles and never read them again.
- The bulk of our house seems to be devoted to books.

See why I'm in this perpetual 2-house dilemma?

Practice What You Preach...

2011-03-20T22:38:00.004-05:00

Nothing like working all night on a curriculum for a social media class to remind me that I have not updated my blog in awhile...

If you would like to come and experience Kelly Schaub and myself on the modest topic of "Mastering Social Media" on Wednesday at 4pm, check out Play by Play Books' event page here.

In the meantime, here's what I've been up to over the weekend (all of these, of course, involve Duchess Beatrix):

2 nights in a row at Ikea. We're trying to sort out our new front bedroom, and especially my wardrobes. We also got a great chair for the room (hopefully one of two), and so with their promotion tonight, got dinner free! Beatrix enjoys it, but keeps on stretching up to try to be tall enough to get into "Smaland"...

Good family time — a visit to my dad and breakfast with my mother-in-law at Good Day Cafe. Ok, the world's longest wait at Good Day and they lost our order twice, but the company was nice.

A visit to Shoe Zoo with a Living Social voucher from my dad to get Beatrix new shoes. Fell in LOVE with that store and will be going back.

Beatrix's first movie in a theatre, TANGLED at the Riverview. She was completely rapt. I cried. Damn Disney/Pixar animation gets me every time.

Some of Patrick's old friends (who I had never met) over for dinner Friday night. I tried a new recipe for a chocolate caramel pie which was a PITA but delicious.A wonderful evening of good food and wonderful conversation. I hope we see them soon!

A movie just for us — a rarity. The Kids are Alright, which we enjoyed and talked about.

Plus naps (because I think I have reached the very end of my ability to function on going on 4 years without a full night of sleep), a trip to Best Buy to recycle electronics, a visit to Ultimate Electronics (no wonder they are going out of business), some work, and some minimal cleaning. Notice no grocery shopping on that list? Oops...

Big Theatre Weekend

2011-03-10T20:24:00.002-06:00

Ok, you have no excuse to sit at home this weekend. There's SO much going on, and your taxes can wait another week, really...

Open Eye's Toy Theatre After Dark runs this weekend and next; it's always a great event, but this year is especially good, with an all ages program, a more adult-oriented program, a late night cabaret, classes, and a panel. I can't recommend it highly enough, but it's very popular and the space is small, so buy now!

If comedy is more your thing, Play by Play Books is presenting Sparky Johnson in Back to Borneo tomorrow and Saturday, plus workshops on Saturday. It looks really great, and if you tell Kelly I sent you it's Pay-What-You-Can.

I've heard great things about LIve Action Set's Seven Shot Symphony and hope to see it this weekend. Frank Theatre is doing what sounds like an amazing production of Cabaret — if you want 2-for-1 tickets for Friday's show, let me know by noon on Friday and I'll show you the secret handshake.

Plus it's Screen at Skewed Vision son Friday, Family Day at the MIA on Sunday, and much more. You'll never forgive yourself if you don't do something creative this weekend!

Sibley Bike Depot

2011-03-09T22:56:00.003-06:00

I got a great "backstage tour" of the Sibley Bike Depot today, thanks to one of their board members, Julia Wells. Now remember, I don't have the foggiest notion of how to actually ride a bike, so the fact that I was as impressed as I was speaks volumes about what they do.

Though the Depot's mission is to "be an open, accessible space to educate and empower people to use bicycles as transportation, helping to build a sustainable environment and community," what that really means to me is "Changing the world, one bike at a time."

Seriously, check out their programs:
- a bike library that loans bikes to low-income community members
- an "earn-a-bike" program that allows people to allow people who can't afford bikes to get their own (and take care of it)
- a (FREE!) fully-equipped shop where people can work on their bikes (including special women and transgender nights)
- youth and adult rides
- a plethora of classes of all kinds
- a bike recycling program that rebuilds and resells donated bikes cheaply, and recycles items that can't be re-used

They do this all on a shoestring budget and with really involved board members (what's the last board you've seen that meets 2x a month and dedicates another 15 hours or so of month of direct service time) and volunteers.

If you're looking for a new bike, have one to donate, want to fix yours up, or simply want to see a great organization in action, I encourage you to check them out.

It may even get me to learn to ride!

Cold to the Bone

2011-03-02T18:46:00.003-06:00

Everyone's had something to say about the weather this winter. It's been dismally cold, and icy, and let's not even talk about the snow. I don't remember this much snow in one winter since I was a small child, and I almost burst into tears tonight when the MPR weatherman predicted more coming up.

The facts is, I just can't handle much more winter. The snow is hard enough, but the cold is really getting to me. I'm cold to the bone — I just can't seem to warm up, ever. By 11 or so at night I'm too cold to get anything done — I shake and my brain turns off and I crawl into bed, where I am too cold to sleep. We thought about going somewhere warm for a vacation, but that fell through. It's all freezing and hopeless and horrible.

Basically, it's a life-sucking, bone-chilling, eviscerating, soulless cold.

I know this isn't really any different than anyone else here feels right now. But it's awfully overwhelming.

Small Project Sunday

2011-02-27T21:23:00.004-06:00

We deemed today Small Project Sunday, and we rocked it!

It started out slow, actually. We needed to find a rug for the new bedroom (which, I am aware, is not a Small Project), so headed out to Dock 86. We didn't find anything there, so headed to Home Goods, which I had almost forgotten about — I won't make that slip again! We found the perfect rug right away, and then coveted lots of other things while Beatrix admired every over-the-top sparkly Easter item in the store. So yes, we all enjoyed it!

But during Beatrix's nap, we hit our stride. We finished an Ikea hack to cover up the litter boxes, and with that, the corner that usually looked so disgusting already looked so much better that I decided to whip up a quick set of curtains for the window. It's so nice to have a sewing machine set up so that I can do that!

Meanwhile, Patrick put up a shelf by the kitchen window that we've been planning on installing for years. He got to use the new saw I gave him, and now we are ready to start herbs for the spring:

We also:
- painted the bathroom grate and the living room grate (more of those to come)
- cleaned and spackled the front closet so that we can paint it
- primed and prepped the guest bedroom closet for painting
- polished my shoes and switched purses
- put away various odds and ends around the house
- cleaned through some of Beatrix's clothes
- reset her sun/moon clock
- cleaned and set up the top of her dresser
- cleaned through all her toy bins (ok, that was after she went to sleep, I'm not stupid!)
- plus cleaned though several other cabinets, posting lots of free lists and Craig's List

Museums

2011-02-25T18:04:00.002-06:00

We went to Rock the Cradle this weekend, with which I have a love/hate relationship. I love the energy and So.Many.Kids out doing art — but man, it's a crazy, exhausting zoo! Beatrix enjoyed the disco, the instrument petting zoo, and the storytelling, but her favorite part was just looking at all the exhibits at the museum.

made me realize we should be spending more time going to museums and such. Our weekend free time is usually packed with such enriching cultural activities as trips to Target, running errands, and the occasional brunch for fun. We really need to make a concerted effort to go to museums, storytimes, and such. Want to join us?

More Domesticity

2011-02-21T16:05:00.003-06:00

I've been asked for some more details about the bedroom.

Here is is with an actual bed and such in it. It was very cozy to sleep in last night!

Here's a detail shot of the whitewashed book pages above the chair rail. I'm pretty happy with it, if I do say so myself.

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In other domestic news, we had a snow day today. I managed to muscle through a lot of work that I just had not had time to deal with, plus laundry and posting things on Craig's Lost (need a changing table, a computer desk, an activity table, crib sheets, a piano, or boots? I'm your girl). I also baked a cake, but in less successful news, have discovered I am as genetically unable to cook dried beans as I am in making fudge. Hours of cooking, followed the recipe exactly, and still crunchy and gross. I give up!

New Bedroom

2011-02-20T22:39:00.003-06:00

It's been a long time coming...

We've always wanted to have our bedroom in the front room of the 2F. It takes up the whole width of the house (actually 2 open connecting rooms), looking out onto Ashland and Dale. But, in the house's previous life as a rooming house, it had been a greasy kitchen area, and it was in really rough shape.

Our vision for the room actually came from a tea tin I got Patrick when we were first dating. The contrasting blues were feminine yet not too girly. A few years back, we got an enormous deal on some hardwood flooring, so put that in, but then with the baby and life changes in general, things kind of ground to a halt.

Over the summer, we finally finished stripping the woodwork (it had gotten it partially stripped with a heat gun years before, but only to a certain height, giving it that "bark stripped by deer in a winter forest" look). Once we finished the woodwork, there were wall repairs to make, and then painting and hours of Patrick's detailed stenciling. Then, because we did all of that exactly backwards, there were many hours spent cleaning up the floors...

The work was hard, but we had the details in our mind to work toward. We picked up the wardrobes last year at an Ikea sale, and they look great against one wall, approximating the "custom wardrobe" look we aspired to for a lot less. The curtain panels were also picked up on sale last year at West Elm, though I sewed the tiebacks last night during Mad Men. One of the lights we got at Creative Lighting with a Groupon, the other at Ikea.

While shopping at the Restoration Hardware closing sale last week, we were saddened by the sense of "You want character? Purchase it here for instant access in one fell swoop" nature, totally lacking in creativity. Here, while Patrick painted the walls, I spent hours gluing pages of my very first set of "The Chronicles of Narnia" to butcher paper, then cutting it to fit above the picture rails and whitewashing it. Then, once I scraped down the accumulated grime on the floor vent, it was just to pretty in all its layers of patina to paint over. These are the items that really demonstrate the room's sense of place.

It's a beautiful room, in a future we are building together.

(I'll add some "lived in" photos soon...)

On Shopping and Big Sales

2011-02-19T13:05:00.002-06:00

We just got back from the Macy's President's Day sale, where I got: 2 pairs of jeans, 1 pair of cords, a winter jacket, and 2 sweater dresses for $65 total, plus three $10 off certificates for a future visit. That said, it was hard work to track all of that stuff down — the racks were crowded, disorganized, and somewhat frumpy, and it was hard to get through the various departments to find things. Though I was excited to be getting things I really needed on sale, the experience was kind of awful.

I've noticed today that there are a LOT of closing sales going on this weekend. The Midway Borders, the Menard's on 394, Ultimate Electronics, the Restoration Hardware on Grand Avenue...

In all of these cases, I've seen a similarity. I've tried to shop at all of them, and have not enjoyed the experience. When recently at Borders, my thought was "No wonder they are going out of business — there's really nothing I want to buy here." We had the same experience at Restoration Hardware yesterday; everything they had was still to expensive (even at 30% off), and really did not appeal to us (as in "Really? Burlap furniture?")

I'm sad these places are going out of business. But I think that they have undervalued the shopping experience, and basically done it to themselves...

Best Valentines Plan Ever!

2011-02-10T13:54:00.004-06:00

Normally, our plans for Big Romantic Holidays are pretty low-key. It's hard to get excited about, as Tony Bourdain calls it, "Amateur Night" at fancy restaurants and paying a babysitter, who would also like to be out celebrating Big Romantic Holiday, appropriately. (note I said "low-key," but not "disappointing" — our evenings are usually very nice.)

Well, this year we are shaking it up a little. Due to our awesome daycare person, who will be keeping Beatrix late, and the incredible people at Chowgirls, we'll be going to Locavore. Just peruse the menu! I can't tell you how excited I am for this! (I think there's still space left, you should think about going too!)

(then we'll have to do something exciting with Beatrix, who is very excited about "Valenztyne" Day.)

eta: I also don't know why the pdf of the menu is off center. But here's how to get tickets. Only a few left!

Winter Carnival

2011-02-05T20:40:00.002-06:00

Tonight we took Beatrix to the Winter Carnival Torchlight Parade. Lately she's been really into parades, and Clara took her to see the snow sculptures, so we were hoping she would have a good time — and we all did!

We planned it so we would be at the beginning of the route in Lowertown. We found a great parking spot, remembered to graw a blanket from the back of my car to sit on, and had a perfect place just before the parade started. We stayed warm, and Beatrix got a ton of candy, beads, and other swag.

Her favorite part? The princesses (and maybe the horses). Mine? The big trucks at the end that shot flame and warmed everyone up.

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This followed a lovely day of shopping at some smaller stores we love but never get to (Martin Patrick, Pacifier, Nadeau, the soon-to-be-departed-and-will-be-sadly-missed Wonderment, and Karma.) All in all, a great day!

Send for the Warden!

2011-01-31T21:54:00.002-06:00

Tonight, for date night, we went to a reading of Belarus Free Theater's Being Harold Pinter, coordinated by Skewed Visions and read by Bedlam Theatre, HOBT, and Frank Theatre (among others).

Remember the riots following the December elections in Belarus? We get so involved in our "revolution of the moment" that we forget that other struggles still have not ended, but following apparent election fraud in Belarus, over 50,000 people took to the streets in protest. Over a thousand were arrested, including several members of the Belarus Free Theater. Many are still imprisoned.

You can suppress artists, but you can't suppress their art. In an international appeal, theatres all over the world called for readings of the Free Theater's Being Harold Pinter during the month of January to raise support for and awareness of the issues in Belarus. The Free Theater, whose members were eventually released and who is now performing in Chicago, is currently banned in their home country.

The reading itself was impressive, and brought up a lot of discussion between Patrick and myself, and a lot to think about. If you want to begin to ponder these issues as well, here's the website: Send for the Warden.

Sew-So

2011-01-23T21:00:00.007-06:00

One of my resolutions this year was to be more creative. So, a few weeks back during a weekend Beatrix-naptime (aka "the time we frenetically try to get things done"), while Patrick was painting the bedroom, I worked on a few sewing projects.

To be honest, my success was mixed. It took me a long time to get everything set up: to find my thread and needles and such, to remember how to set up my sewing machine, to even find the projects I wanted to be working on. I feel like I don't have a lot of the basic supplies I need (like a good, clear ruler, etc.) And then, after all that, I ended up hand-sewing a lot of what i was doing, because I could not get the ruffle to work right using the sewing machine.

Still, I am pretty happy with what I created — a ruffle shirt for me, some legwarmers and a flower shirt for Beatrix. I have a huge stack of old clothes sitting in there, that I keep swearing I am going to repurpose into fabulous new things, and that may be overestimating my ability right now. But at least it's a start.

Before:

After:

Coffee as a Unit of Measurement

2011-01-21T10:31:00.002-06:00

How many times are you told "If you just skip that latte a couple of times a week, you could save for retirement/fund your child's 529 plan/give more to charity/pay off your credit card/go on that European vacation"? I would bet, though, that the majority of us do not have such a caffeinated beverage issue that we are heading to Starbuck's on a constant basis — or if we do, that we value that espresso enough that we have made it a purchasing priority. I know for myself that most of my coffee is brewed at home, and carried with me in my trusty Contigo mug.

What I have lost lately is the routine of meeting people for coffee — for a meeting or just to catch up. My time has seemed especially limited, so when I meet someone, it's often for lunch, so that I can be sure to actually get something to eat (otherwise I am likely just not to make time, and snack on junk food at my desk all afternoon). But it seems like this is happening to others, too, and my favorite coffeeshops are slowly turning into full-service restaurants. The latest is Muddy Waters, which is moving up Lyndale to offer a full menu, and I hope it's a good move for them.

But it makes me think that I need to take a little more time to enjoy a cup of coffee some afternoon with a friend. Want to meet up?

Toddler List

2011-01-18T22:49:00.003-06:00

Things that rock your world when you are 2-going-on-3:

A new bag of clothes lent from a friend (with plenty of dresses and "soft pants")
Mac-and-cheese (with shells!)
Diego, Angelina Ballerina, and "The Shortcut Movie"
Ballet
Manger scene
Hello Kitty
Small plastic dolls and dollhouse toys with very losable parts
Animals
Animal crackers
Your paci, bottle, and blanket (still)
Christmas lights
Princesses
When you get a sucker at the bank drive through (sadly rare)
Princess dresses
Singing in the car
Hot dogs/fish sticks/pasta/ham/cupcakes/yoghurt
Bitty baby
Princess teddy bear
Malls (especially those with American Girl, Build a Bear, and/or Disney stores)
Snow
Your family

Unassuming But Nice

2011-01-17T23:04:00.002-06:00

I got to spend some date time with Patrick tonight, in a couple of last-minute ways...

First of all, his conference call got cancelled, so we made a last-minute trip to the Mall of America to do some returns. It's a very different place without a toddler in tow! We had wanted to try Crave for years and had a $5 gift card, so checked it out for happy hour — I have to say "meh" on the food and drinks, though the company was lovely!

Then, thanks to Heidi's babysitting offer, we headed down to the #SMBMSP event at CoCo with Chank. A small crowd, but lovely people — I was very pleased to get to meet some of the people that Patrick knows and networks with. The ever-lovely Kate O'Reilly was there, and any night is made better with her in it! Sorry to have missed the #mnwomenstweetup, though.

Team Player

2011-01-02T08:00:00.002-06:00

So far, 2011 has started out great. We had a lovely, if quiet, New Year's Eve, and a lot of fun yesterday, topped by our friend Tom's annual New Years' Day party. Beatrix has watched her fill of princess movies, we have a playdate coming up later this morning, and everyone is relatively content.

Part of why we succeed, I think, is because we really are behind each other. Of course, Patrick and I are slavishly devoted to Duchess Beatrix's desires. But we're also behind each other. I'm insanely proud of how well he is doing with his blogs, and he supports me in my work. It's not always perfect, but when we remember that we're on each others' team, it's so much better.

Kindle-d

2010-12-30T21:12:00.004-06:00

They must have noticed I was eyeing a Nook.

I was a Kindle early adopter; I got the K1 soon after Beatrix was born and it's the device that saved me during 9 months of almost exclusive pumping. It has also caused me to be less cranky about people being late (if I don't have the device on me, I can even read on my phone!), and made travel much easier.

But lately, I've been Not So Enamored. E-book prices, which used to never be over $9.99, have gone up, and I've been putting most things on hold at the library (I am currently #46 of 77 holds for one book, thank you for asking, but many are faster). The battery on my Kindle is really starting to go, as in it only lasts a few hours. And I've been having some recent download issues that have taken some long customer service calls to solve. And, unlike other e-readers, you can't "borrow" e-books form the library.

Today, Amazon announced Kindle lending. I'll be the first to say, it's still not perfect. Only some books are available to lend, and it's not intuitive to suss which are and are not. You're "locked out" of your version when it's lent (presumably, you've already read it). You can only lend for 14 days, which is plenty long to me. The biggest problem, I think, is that you can only lend each book once, whereas with a physical copy, I am used to lending all I want "Hey, Elaine and I both loved this, you should read it!"

Still, it's better than nothing, and I am eager to give it a try. It apparently works also with the Kindle app on the iPad, iPhone, etc. There's more information here.

This is what I have to loan, first come first served:

The Hunger Games
Mockingjay
Freedom
Jane Austen Ruined My Life
The Rose Variations
Sarah's Key
Love The One You're With

(plus several I downloaded just because they were free, but that seems kind of pointless...)

Anyone got anything great they want to lend me?

Updated because we came home from a playdate this morning, and patrick handed me the new Kindle he had ordered for me.

I have the best husband ever.

Year End Giving

2010-12-27T16:50:00.006-06:00

It's the end of the calendar year, that time when we recover from Christmas, mourn the fact that our New Year's Eve plans are not more exciting, return gifts, make resolutions, eat Christmas cookies for breakfast every day, fall into a morass at work if we go in at all (or are completely overwhelmed by things), try to see the Oscar-bait movies released, spend down our flex plan dollars and insurance deductibles (thus my foot surgery today), and make end of the year charitable donations.

If you're doing the latter, may I make some suggestions? Make it easy on yourself, just head over to GiveMN with your credit card and knock off a few donations, maybe with your spouse and a glass of wine tonight. I really can't recommend the following places highly enough — they are all great organizations that will do wonders with even the smallest amount of money:

- Skewed Visions: I sit on the board of this site-specific company, and their work will change your life. Currently we're trying to raise money to send one of the founders to St. Petersburg, Russia to do an intensive workshop with Iguan Dance, in preparation for an upcoming joint production based on Italo Calvino's Invisible Cities. We only need $2,000 for all expenses with the residency — or if that does not appeal, check out Skewed Visions other projects (the main link is the page I set up as a board member).

- Nimbus Theatre: is opening a wonderful new space of their very own in the Northeast Minneapolis Arts District! I love the curious and eclectic work that Nimbus does, and I am excited to have the first resident theatre company in the new NE district. Plus, let's face it, giving to a capital campaign feels good — for just $24, for example, you can purchase 1/75 of the audience seating needed!

- Open Eye Figure Theatre: Produces a wide variety of amazing work. From their mainstage productions in the Phillips neighborhood (all of which offer pay-what-you-can) to the FREE Driveway Tour shows that go to people's homes in the summer, this is one of the most diverse and accessible theatres in town.

- Serrand Epp: is the new company led by two of the former artistic directors at Jeune Lune. Recently incorporated as a non-profit, their show at the Southern Theatre in May will be amazing.

- SARPA: Is the Summit Avenue Residential Preservation Association, of which I am the board chair. Recently, we've been broadening our work to do more education about this amazing street, including free lectures and other events. To donate to SARPA, go to Historic Saint Paul and designate your gift.

There are so many other great non-profits I can recommend and that I gave to: Circus Juventas, Nautilus Music-Theater (of course), Springboard for the Arts (supporting artist development), Theatre of Fools, the Macalester-Groveland Community Council (or other Neighborhood Development sites), the Mental Health Association of Minnesota, my friend Pat's choice of the David Sheldrick Wildlife Trust, The Uptake, the Waseca County Historical Society, the Preservation Alliance of Minnesota, cancer sites, or any case that's dear to you.

But really, do think about giving — it's amazing how much even $10 can do!

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Want to support an arts-related business that's not a non-profit? My friend Kelly runs Play by Play Books in lowertown Saint Paul, which features not just theatre books, but a great selection of gifts and otehr merchandise, all of which supports local artists. She's even got a 50% off order on Dealstork right now (though I can't seem to make a referral code work for the life of me, I think that will send you to the right place.

Crafty Christmas

2010-12-21T22:36:00.005-06:00

This is probably the point where I should admit my utter addiction to craft blogs. I LOVE looking through them and fantasizing about all the lovely things I could make it I just had the time...Plus, the blogs themselves are amazing — tons of entries, great pictures, all kinds of creative ideas. My idea of a perfect afternoon would be a gift card to a craft store and several hours to wander around, even if I got little done afterwards. There's a lot to be learned from craft blogs.

I especially value homemade holiday gifts, and I wanted to pass on that value to Beatrix. So this year, we made candles for her teachers and for some of the people I work with. They were dead easy — just design the monograms, cut out, and Modge Podge onto candles. But I think they look nice, Beatrix enjoyed helping me, and we even bough the materials at local independent stores. I can post a picture now, since I have given them all to their intended recipients:

Tonight I also made batches of caramel corn for our neighbors who helped dig us out after the last snowstorm. The house smells fantastic!

On a more commercial note, we took Beatrix to see Santa tonight. It was just a mall Santa, and we did not spring for the photo package or anything. But she was so excited to see the "real Santa," she even brought our decorative Santa hat to show him. She was thrilled to sit on his lap and tell him she wanted a "princess teddy bear" (he looked at me to make sure I nodded before he said "ok.") We've been playing Santa at home for the last couple of days, so the simple act of being able to take her to see him was wonderful.

Seasonal Affective Disorder

2010-12-17T21:32:00.001-06:00

My family has always been all about Christmas. Over the top decorations, Christmas Eve with Santa, my grandmother getting my grandfather to make reindeer prints on the porch roof, fresh cut Christmas trees filled with ornaments, dozens of kinds of Christmas cookies, lefse, Christmas Eve and Christmas brunch, Dayton's 8th floor, holiday shows, caroling, Christmas lights limo tours, presents both handmade and just what you wanted from your list, Toys for Tots, family from all over the world, Christmas cards, luminaria, parties — you get the picture. I'm hard-wired genetically to love the season.

Until four years ago, when my mom went into the hospital on December 12 and died on Christmas Day.

The next Christmas seemed strange, and then crashed again when my aunt ended up in the emergency room with a lung issue that, for quite some time, seemed like cancer and cost her part of a lung.

We've been building up since then, trying to regain family traditions, a strange mix of love for the holiday and a deep, painful, raw missing of my mother. We've started new traditions, like spending part of Christmas Day with friends who understand the mix of pain and joy.

This year, Beatrix is all about Christmas — that genetic love of the holiday is obvious. She shouts "It's Christmastime!" She sings carols. She kisses all the ornaments on the tree. She bakes cookies. She watches The Grinch and A Charlie Brown Christmas. She tells anyone who will listen that Santa is bringing her a princess teddy bear.

And then yesterday it all came screeching to a halt again when Patrick's mother suffered a stroke and then a car crash while driving from Iowa City to New Orleans.

It could have been so much worse. She's doing as well as can be expected. Patrick flew down right away, and he and his siblings are down there (just outside of New Orleans) with her; I want desperately to be, but really, it's not practical to add Beatrix and myself to the equation. So we're up here, trying to hold steady and keep Christmas as well as we can, while missing our family like a hole cut into our hearts. I'm really trying to make Christmas for her, but I don't know that I'm doing a very good job.

I just want Christmas back, and I am so, so afraid I am never going to get it.

Snow-Verwhelmed

2010-12-13T22:24:00.002-06:00

We got back to some limited functionality today. The streets were more-or-less plowed, the man who plows the alley removed the 6' snow berm that was just past our garage, we got mail delivery. Oh, and Patrick's car died in front of the house as I was loading Beatrix in to take her to daycare, and less than half an hour before the city town trucks started making their rounds. Luckily, he talked me into being calm and we made it through all of that (plus got lunch at Punch!), but we need a new battery and those aren't cheap (and are hard to wrap and put under the tree).

But honestly, I don't know what we, as a city/community/metro region are going to do. After two snow emergencies, the streets are still only barely passable. Traffic, even on major streets, is moving at a crawl since two cars can barely pass abreast. Under the snow, the streets are icy, and getting more so as cars spin out. Trips that usually take 15 minutes are taking upwards of an hour. Many of the snow banks are over my head. Schools in both Saint Paul and Minneapolis are closed again tomorrow. Let's not even talk about the Dome, though I can't honestly say I care all that much; the Circus Juventas tent stayed up so I'm happy. How long until we get back to "normal," and what will that look like?

I remember vaguely the last storm like this, the famed "Halloween Blizzard" of 1991. But it honestly, it didn't seem this bad. It didn't seem to cripple the area for the indeterminate future. I total the costs of the two back-to-back snow emergencies alone and the number is staggering. I'm worried that we have cut services too far, that we have spent so much time requiring our government to be "lean," that we've lost the ability to address a crisis like this. Sure, this is an enormous storm and not the everyday situation. But it's exactly that kind of situation that our government is supposed to help with, and all I see is a system that is so overextended that it can't possibly solve the situation.

So who makes up for that? We as citizens can dig each other out, can run the snowblower down the entire walk, can bring food to the snowbound neighbor, can collect money to privately plow the alley. But as we've known for a long time, we can't do the big things — we can't plow curb to curb, we can't haul off the snow and melt it our pile it up on a lake or whatever they do with it, we can't salt the icy streets and tow the abandoned cars. We've put our trust in the government to do that, but the government seems too stripped down to do so (while, at the same time, my property taxes go up another 10%).

So how do we solve the streets, the sidewalks, the ice, the snow (preferably before it, ugh, snows again late this week)? And then, how do we address the system, so this doesn't happen again?

A Tale of Two Saint Paul Bars

2010-12-11T20:26:00.002-06:00

Ok, at some point I'll stop it with the heavy-handed bar philosophizing, but tonight it seemed right.

We, like everyone else in the Twin Cities, are snowed in. Maybe even more so, since Patrick is specifically prohibited from shoveling, brushing off cars, even driving because of his neck surgery. I am not looking forward to starting the dig out tonight.

But in any case, we did make it through the drifts to the neighbors' Christmas party, and were talking to another neighbor. She was saying that, in the storm last week, she was stuck and had some kind of mechanical car issue, all late at night (she has 2 jobs, so is constantly at work). Stuck in the street, she went over to Sweeney's to ask for help. They flat out told her it was "impossible" for anyone to help her (and none of the patrons offered, either).

Desperate, she went down the street to the Muddy Pig. They not only sent their burliest staff member down to get her out (with plenty of patrons also offering to help), but after they got her out, he invited her back to the bar and bought her a beer. So today, she figured it was payback time, and helped several others out of the drifts (thereby proving my friend Meghan's sentiment — "Minnesota: your car might get stuck in a snowbank, but random strangers will always show up to push you out.")

With that in mind, which bar do you think my neighbor will pick next time she goes out? Or that I will? Or anyone else who heard the story?

A Tale of Two Uptown Bars

2010-12-10T20:42:00.002-06:00

So we had a little bit of a "date afternoon" today, in an attempt to get some quality time together during this crazy holiday/recovery time.

First, we saw Black Swan at the Uptown. We see so few movies, but this was wonderful. Several fantastic performances (hello, Oscars!) and led us to a spirited discussion about art, dying art, living art, and more. Also, I sincerely hope that my daughter's love of all things ballet does not lead to a career as a dance — I can't picture a harder life.

Afterwards, we went, or started to go, to Bar Abilene for happy hour. Now, we have not been to Bar Abilene since Beatrix was born — it's not exactly child-friendly. The last several experiences we had there before then were terrible — a waiter haranguing me for not understanding that a sandwich described as "the mushroom burger" and listing only mushrooms, onions, and pico de gallo as ingredients was actually beef, another issue with food, and then the "margarita club" being discontinued right after I paid $25 for a card. The final incident was resolved by the manager at that time writing on the card that it was worth $20 of food, but when we tried to use it tonight, the extremely rude manager would not honor it. Let's just say that the reasonably tasting yet overpriced margaritas and poor bar food at Bar Abilene and I have parted ways forever. Passing by the bar later this evening, it seems that I am not the only one who felt that way.

Much to our gain, we decided to try Fusion, which we've been meaning to go to forever. Now there's a happy hour! The staff was welcoming and friendly as soon as we walked in, and the happy hour was great. We got two servings of fantastic shrimp tempura roll, a Mediterranean plate, artichoke dip, lots of great foccacia, 2 martins, and a beer for $33. Plus, valet parking is free Thursday-Saturday nights. Hell, yeah! I only wish we had stayed for dessert...

So here's the difference. Fusion was happy to see us. They treated us well, they provided good food and cheap prices, they made us feel good about going out. Bar Abilene, on the other hand, has consistently treated us poorly, and tonight not only refused to honor a previous commitment, but treated us like criminals for asking for the commitment to be redeemed. Guess which one I'll be promoting and going back to?

All in all, a very interesting dining experience to have following a movie about the future viability of art, and some lessons to be learned...

Non-Holiday Theatre

2010-12-07T20:58:00.002-06:00

Looking for a theatre event that's festive, different, and non-holiday related?

Nimbus Theatre is holding a sneak preview of their brand new Northeast Minneapolis space tomorrow afternoon. Come and give your opinion as to what it should include, scope out the space for your shows and events, and generally celebrate a new Twin Cities theatre space!

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Nimbus Open House
1517 Central Ave NE
Wednesday, December 8 • 4:30 - 6:30pm

Snowman

2010-12-05T20:40:00.005-06:00

Pick one ornament to write about? Really? As if there were not an entire treeful of hanging ornaments, and a houseful of decorations pulled out annually, each one with its own involved story? As if there were not boxes of Christmas decorations carefully catalogued and waiting for at my mother's old house, each with their own stories? As if I did not still miss ornaments I no longer have, such as the much-mourned "Dancing Rabbit Blow Horn?"

The truth is that I had one ornament in particular I was thinking of, a baby snuggled in a nutshell cradle, that was mine when I was a child and has hung on the tree since. But my 2.75 year old daughter has fallen in love with the "baby ornament" and takes it with her wherever she goes. It's now clutched in her hand as she sleeps downstairs, with the stand-up Santa my father gave me and the angel that is supposed to go on top of the tree arranged at the foot of her crib. My daughter, who replicates me in so many ways, has developed the passionate love for Christmas that runs deep in my family, and seeing the holiday through her eyes makes this bittersweet time so unbelievably, incredibly wonderful.

So instead I picked an ornament that is much more recent. Four years ago I spent the holiday season in my mother's hospital room, as she lay dying of colon cancer. It was our first married Christmas, the first living in the house together, the first of many things, but for my mother it was the last, and that trumped it all. Before everything went down I had signed up for a gift exchange in my online community, and one day a package arrived from my Secret Santa, full of incredibly thoughtful things I could use in the hospital room (lip balm, chocolate, a stuffed toy,etc.) — and this snowman, to remind me of the winter outside. My Santa that year has since moved on from that community, but Whitty, wherever you are, you knew that I needed that reminder that there was life outside.

My mother died on Christmas Day, her favorite holiday. Every year, when I clip this snowman on to the tree, I am reminded of that time, and of all that have given me the courage and caring to go on past it. I remember my mom, and her love of Christmas. I think of my husband, and his quirky collection of snowman ornaments that we've added this one too. And I smile at my daughter, who shouts "SNOWMAN!" as she unwraps it and gives it to me to put on the tree.

Please visit the other bloggers writing on this topic today. I'm excited to be part of the virtual world we've all created!

Holiday Shows

2010-12-05T12:58:00.003-06:00

Ok, perhaps it's because I am in theatre, but I love holiday shows. I work with and know so many wonderful, talented people, and when they give the gift of doing what they do best, there's just nothing like it to make me feel humbled and happy and filled with holiday spirit. So here, in no particular order, is what I am thinking of this year:

The Holiday Pageant at Open Eye Figure Theatre. I've loved this show through many incarnations, in large house and small venues, with multiple casts of the finest performers in the Twin Cities. Based on the medieval Mystery Plays (see, you had me there) it's a mix of the sublime and the hilarious. If you're reading this before 4pm on Sunday, we're sponsoring a show in honor of my mother today, so come on down! But of there is one show you should not miss this year (and it's perfect for families, too), it's this one.

A Life of Serious Nonsense is a Theatre of Fools quirky take on holiday spirit. Running December 16-18, it's a warm and lovely tale of the human hart, a kind of modern day "Gift of the Magi" with a far less tragic ending.

More so than even theatre companies, dance companies often make their whole year's income on the holiday show (yes, that means they often lose money on the experimental works they present, so think of your holiday ticket as a kind of subsidy and then go back later in the year and purchase tickets for the edgier show — it's a win-win!). That's why you have your choice of Nutcrackers aplenty this time of year. You can't go wrong with the classic Loyce Holton version at MDT, but this year we're taking our little aspiring ballerina to Ballet Minnesota's version, where her friend Ella is a very talented little angel.

I sit on the board at Skewed Visions, which is kind of the antipathy of the holiday show. But in arguably the same spirit, we're raising money to send Sean to the north of Russia this winter, in a one-of-a-kind residency. Please think about contributing!

There are any number of holiday shows out there, and I confess to a love of them all, even the old chestnuts like A Christmas Carol at the Guthrie. If you see things every year, I'd love to know what you love. If you don't currently see holiday shows, think of adding it to your holiday traditions. I promise you it's worth the time and effort!

Town Talk Diner

2010-12-03T19:36:00.003-06:00

As my friend Kate put it, one of the biggest falls from grace in the Twin Cities restaurant scene.

We just drove through the snow on a rare date night (and because we had an expiring DealStork). Let's just say that as we left we were tempted to tell the couple coming in that they might want to hit Denny's across the street instead.

We went because we last summer we went to a Clockwork party that hired out TT bartenders, and at which Patrick had one of the best old-fashioneds of his life. Those bartenders must have been part of the staff walk-out or something. His old-fashioned tonight was watery, flavorless, and to add insult to injury was served in a wineglass (thus only about half the pour after the ice was added).

They were out of many of the items on the menu, which I never take as a good sign. My grilled cheese, a simple enough dish to prepare, was seriously akin to the Denny's. Patrick's meat pie, talked up as as one of the stellar items that the new chef was making, was skimpy on the meat and served in a bowl with a puffed topping that cleverly disguised that the bowl was less than half full below. It was a smaller serving than a cup of soup.

The room was more or less empty, just a few other tables, and absolutely freezing. We didn't stay for dessert, even though we were still hungry, because they were also out of most of the items on the dessert menu. And let's just say I don't think it was because of the mad dinner rush that arrived before us.

We are seriously now back home and heating up frozen food from Trader Joe's. The whole thing makes me really sad, and angry at myself for wasting a rare night out.

(Just got a text though from Clara, who had taken Beatrix to the Holidazzle parade while we were out. Beatrix loved the parade, so at least one of us had a great night. And Patrick and I did have some alone time, which was nice.)

The Rest of Day 1 - NAMPC

2010-11-14T09:35:00.002-06:00

Day One continued apace. I went to a break-out on corporate fundraising and had a bit of session envy when I saw the tweets from the audience engagement session. I suppose I picked up a few tips, but the session was more like a commercial for how great the two companies presenting were than general truths about corporate fundraising. Good to be reminded, though, that only 4% of giving, on average, comes from corporations, and that it is the personal connection that really causes them to give.

One person, though, said "Remember, everyone in your audience works for someone," but I no longer think that's true. Probably 25% of the audience for my clients are students, retirees, or otherwise don't work. Another high percentage, maybe 25%, are self-employed (and we seem to have a lot of self-employed board members). So that leaves 50% working for corporations, and I have to think about how to best tap that.

The general consensus, in talking to people, is that the break-outs are a little disappointing, but everyone was blown away by Chip Heath. So I guess I represent the general demographic. A good tip for the conference organizers, though, to try to curate the break-outs more. We'll see how today goes.

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Very nice reception at the San Jose Museum of Art last night, with some really good conversations, especially with Minnesota folks. Strange that we have to come all the way out here to do that. Good food, and a really beautiful museum. I don't get to museums enough, another ironic fact. I suppose this conference is all about showing me things to change.

Day .5 at the National Arts Marketing Conference

2010-11-13T17:24:00.002-06:00

#NAMPC10. The hashtags are flowing heavy. But are we perhaps to involved in our own tweeting cleverness to pay attention?

I am. I got distracted during the "Future Arts Managers" break-out session by the cold room and the blister on my feet, so ducked out and went on a short walk in the San Jose sunshine for some band-aids. I'm in a warm room, reflecting, and feel much better, thank you.

I have to say it is an ENORMOUS treat to be surrounded by smart people, thinking about the work I do. But this conference, so far, is raising a lot more questions than answers, and I suppose that's ok.

The keynote this morning was incredible. Chip Heath (author of SWITCH and MAKE IT STICK) is my new personal hero. He was bright, he was personable, he presented some really interesting ideas and "a-ha" moments in ways that made you actually think you could go home and do something with them. My favorite points were the ideas of the "curiosity gap" — where you intrigue people by hinting that you are going to give them some new information (value-added, I suppose), and the "curse of knowledge," where we know SO much about our subject that we risk overwhelming our audience with too much information, stimulus, activity.

His advice? A mis-spelled acronym, with incredible potency:
Simple
Unexpected
Concrete
Credible
Emotional
Stories

Of course, it begs the question — if we ALL tell emotional, evocative, heart-rending stories, won't our missions be lost in a sea of personal anecdotes? Will what we do be lost to who it effects?

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More later. Break-outs so far not so amazing, but I'm going to give them more time. Meanwhile, looks like we are now on official "networking break." Yesterday that included ice cream bars, so I have high hopes.

Can You Hear Me Now?

2010-11-07T20:43:00.003-06:00

On Friday, I went to a forum by the Arts Learning Xchange and I've been thinking about it all weekend.

The basic premise was "How to Stand Out In a Crowded Consumer Climate." General Mills' Vice President of Marketing Mark Addicks discussed their brand-building and promotion, and Fred Haberman, CEO of his own marketing firm, discussed cause-related promotion; this was followed by a brief Q&A and an interactive exercise.

As unprofessional as it is, I have to admit to ignoring the final interactive exercise and discussing with some colleagues how the topics discussed applied to their organization instead. And, though I am certainly thinking a lot more about CSR marketing, that presentation was a little more diffuse, though I do think the trends Mr. Haberman discussed (ranging from "I'm overwhelmed!" to "I'm in control!") bear further reflection, and the firm seems to be tops at what they do. (Also, a tip for Mr. Haberman — it took me 3 more and more refined Google searches to find the link above, though I did get MPR and bizjournal stories about his form on the first two hits.)

However, the presentation really sticks with me, admittedly mainly because of the presentation from Mr. Addicks. I think he got me right at the beginning when he said "You are what we work toward. Your theatres, your galleries — we work hard all week so we can attend them on the weekend." I have to admit I had never thought of the arts like that, as a reward people work to get to. Talk about uplifting!

He had a lot of other important points as well. His division at General Mills has a "brand champion" for every product, someone who they know a lot about that they base each product on — a tween girl named Sasha, a mid-thirties first time dad named Dan, etc., each with their own profile. I've long been told to have a certain specific person in mind for your marketing efforts, but this is the first time it clicked for me. I still think, though, that for a theatre it might work best to have an overall champion in mind and then one for each show, much as General Mills has one for each product. Trix is as different from the Lara Bar as a musical is from "Waiting for Godot" (though I suppose this is where we ignore the fact that "Spring Awakening" gave dramatic new life to Maeterlinck...).

He also encouraged us to consider "Is there a bigger box?" Does more competition actually help rather than hurt, especially if the issue is reframed?

Finally, he encouraged really listening to people, in everything from focus groups to Twitter. Again, this is not rocket-science advice, but looking at this through the filter of finding ways to engage, enhance, and deepen the experience gives it a whole new light.

I'm going to the National Arts Marketing Conference next weekend in San Jose, and I am sure I'll have a lot more to say on this topic by then. But right now, I'm really fascinated by how just slightly spinning your marketing approach can give you a whole new angle. Is this what I'm looking for?

Flip this House!

2010-11-05T23:22:00.006-05:00

Many of you may not know that I did not just inherit one house — I inherited two.

My father built me a dollhouse for my 4th (?) birthday. It was incredibly deluxe, solid wood in a white colonial style with green trim, decorated in the hippest of early 1970s wallpaper and carpet. There were built-in bookcases, windowboxes, even my initials on the shutters. I was in heaven, and played with it, in many incarnations, for over ten years.

Recently, Beatrix has been especially interested in dollhouses. Every time we go to a toy store she wants to play with them. In particular, we have spent hours in Creative Kidstuff playing with the Calico Critters animal families and their homes.

But have you priced out dollhouses lately? They are ridiculous, either incredible expensive ($100 to $200 and up) for wooden ones (and I don't like any of the designs much anyway), or tacky plastic, or both. So we decided to renovate my old dollhouse and "flip" it for a picky new owner...

Here it is originally:

Here it is after some work. We decided to start out simply, just painting the walls and covering the floors with felt. We can always get more elaborate later. Patrick did almost all of the planning and work:

Here's the final version, complete with the Hopskotch Rabbit family (Beatrix's favorite from Calico Critters:

Beatrix is, predictably, in love with it. The dining room furniture ends up in the bathroom half the time and the little teeny tiny bars of soap will be the death of me, but its worth it for how much enjoyment she gets. It's nice to pass it on, and especially wonderful to have her understand how much love went into its renovation.

Happy Halloween!

2010-10-31T20:26:00.002-05:00

Though Beatrix even went trick-or-treating as a baby (she was a banana, it was adorable), this is the first year that she has really gotten into it. And there was certainly a lot to get in to:

- 2 parties with her daycare
- the annual pumpkin carving at Roering Auto Body — at her request, I carved a cat
- Boo Bash on Grand Avenue with Harry and Kelsey last weekend
- Trick-or-Treating at Kowalski's on Tuesday — it was great, they gave you a bag as you walked in, and then there were different stations et up throughout the store with chips, apples, candy, etc.
- music class in costume at MacPhail
- Trick-or-Treating in Highland yesterday; I have to say this was better than Boo Bash, with a lot more places participating and a variety of things, from candy to wooden train cars to stickers

After all that I thought that tonight's REAL Trick-or-Treating might be anticlimactic, but she had a blast going around our block and getting candy. I love our neighborhood, and she was thrilled to see everyone.

Give to the Max Day

2010-10-29T11:28:00.002-05:00

I'm volunteering with the group that is planning this and it should be a great event! Here's a request for volunteers from their volunteer coordinator:

Are you interested in maximizing your time and volunteer effort for hundreds of great causes all at once? Then get involved with GiveMN's "Give to the Max Day 2010" on Tuesday, November 16th from 8 a.m. to midnight! http://givemn.razoo.com/p/gtmd

Last year, more than 38,000 donors raised $14 million for 3,434 nonprofit organizations throughout Minnesota in just one day! These organizations provide critical services for our state, including feeding our hungry, sheltering our homeless, assisting our elderly, nurturing our youth, improving our welfare, maintaining our heritage, and protecting our environment.

This year GiveMN has teamed up with The UpTake http://theuptake.org/ to promote nonprofit and individual giving LIVE online! Representatives from more than 80 organizations from all over the state will educate viewers about their nonprofit mission and encourage Minnesotans to give to their favorite causes through an all-day, live-stream event.

This year’s LIVE Internet broadcast is critical to the success of Give to the Max Day. But, it’s also an extremely large undertaking. That’s why we need your help!

Volunteers are needed to:
--greet and register the nonprofits as they arrive for their online appearance;
--staff the hospitality area and assist with food and beverage needs;
--help prepare nonprofit representatives to appear live on camera;
--run any last minute errands that may come up during the day;
--help set up the day before and take down the day after the event.

We are looking for 60+ volunteers for 3-5 hour time slots starting at 7:30 a.m. until just after midnight. Volunteers are the key to any successful charity event, so please consider lending a hand!

For more information about how you can get involved contact Carin Skoog at carinskoog@yahoo.com or 612-619-7385. Please leave a message with your name and contact information and we'll get back with you shortly!