Mom Shoes

Christmas — well, really, the whole Advent season — was enormous in my family as I grew up. From my earliest childhood I remember my grandmother creating beaded Christmas crafts (and who can forget the Three Wise Men with velvet cone bodies and featureless faces made of nylons over styrofoam balls?) There were huge family dinners, at my grandparents' and then at our house later on. We went to holiday shows. There were cookies and breads and lefse. There were gifts that satisfied your deepest longings and thanks for gifts you gave in kind.

My mother wasn't one to ever give you cash, or even their cousin, the gift card. She had an incredible ability to figure out what you needed to accomplish your goal, or what you were giving up or skimping on to achieve it, and then give that to you. When I redid the bathroom, she bought me a candelabra, so I could burn candles while in the bath. The year we decided to forego travel to deal with some other major expenses, she took us all to Florida. Even when she was too sick to shop, she sent out friends to buy things on the lists she put together for everyone.

That all changed on Christmas Day, 2006, when my mother died. I  truth, since my mother was in the hospital for the previous two weeks, we basically skipped that Christmas. I remember thinking "Just please don't let her die on Christmas, whatever happens." When she did, the whole holiday had fundamentally changed.

The next Christmas, I was 7 months pregnant, and the next one, we had a 10-month-old baby who was already able to understand the joy of it, and as much as the holiday still left a deep, jagged hole in me, I had to acknowledge it had changed again.

Years later, I decided to do something for myself this Christmas. I had coveted these shoes for months, but they were ridiculously priced. I tried them on again and again, stalked them on the internet, pictured them with every outfit I owned. But every time I turned back.

As we passed Thanksgiving this year and entered the holiday season, I could feel the cold pain beginning again, at the same time that Beatrix began singing Christmas carols and opening her advent calendar.

So I decided to be my own mom. I went out and bought the shoes, and told myself they were from my mom. and when I wore them the first time tonight, to a holiday party and then to a concert, it made me it seem a little more like she was still here.

If you see me wearing these shoes (this holiday season or otherwise), you'll know I'm thinking of my mom. And re-building Christmas, bit by bit.

The Sonic Quilt That Is Eastern Europe

This weekend I am working with an incredible concert series, and I hope you can join us!

Friday evening’s concert program, "Muzika: Celebrating the Sounds of Eastern Europe" features award-winning vocalist Natalie Nowytski (natalien.com) with friends, including Bulgarian gadulka player Nikolay Gueorguiev, women’s a capella group Mila Vocal Ensemble (milavocalensemble.com), Balkan party band Orkestar Bez Ime (rogaria.com), and the folk supergroup Ukrainian Village Band (ukrainianvillageband.com).  At 7:00pm the artists will give a talk on what to listen for in Eastern European music to help those new to the music, followed by the concert itself at 7:30 pm.  

Tickets are $12 (with some discounts) and available at the door at Sundin Hall (Hamline University).

Saturday there's a FREE dance party.

Come join us for both! I'm excited for Beatrix to experience this great, Eastern European folk music and dance!

Thanksgiving Kimchi

(It's also apparently Hmong New Year.)

This morning, I headed over to the Asian market on University Avenue to pick up some "fun with fermentation" ingredients. I don't know why we don't shop there all the time; the food is so fresh and so much fun!

So then, while Beatrix had her BFF Alma over for a playdate, Patrick and I put up some yummy faux-kimchi (still fermented, but tastes a lot less like eating sea monkeys). Isn't it pretty?

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Black Friday...at the Museum

Though "doorbuster" prices are appealing, it's generally stuff we don't need or want (well, we could use a new fridge, but...). And the idea of shopping in crowds, and waiting in the cold in long lines (especially starting last night) — well, basically, forget it!

So we decided to do a different Black Friday activity — we went to the museum! Rather than hang around watching cartoons and drinking coffee all morning, as we often do on a day off (don't judge!), we got up and got going right away a little before 7:00. Beatrix was intrigued: "Are we going to the Bakken Museum to see the electricity? The History Museum to see the mine and the Indians and the house?"

No, we were heading to the Minneapolis Institute of the Arts, which had their own Black Friday special. We arrived, got free tickets to the "Audacious Eye" Japanese collection exhibition, and headed on in.

We stoppen in the lobby to grab some free Dogwood coffee (mmmmm!) and Rustica cookies (good, but my new dream is to sneak in and futz with their timers so they stop overbaking things!), and so Patrick could check out the Northern Grade pop-up. We then went through the exhibition, which was pretty fascinating. Beatrix was especially perceptive about it, picking up on some of the warrior features of the especially fierce statues, learning about the Buddha, picking up on some of the Chinese influences on some of the scrolls, and especially admiring a modern bamboo mobile.

We then enjoyed the shop, where she picked out a postcard of the jade mountain (my personal favorite piece), and stopped to look at the picture of Cinderella's carriage at CTC on the way out.

Altogether, a much better way to spend Black Friday than any other alternative! We may not have spey/saved a lot of money, but we had some great family time together in a beautiful place.

Daughter Love

I love my husband incredibly, more now in our wonderful life together than even during that smitten phase when we first met. I love my family (well, what's left of it). I love my friends fiercely. I love my pets (well, most of them).

But I am struck every day with the way I love my daughter, almost to distraction.

I love how sweet she is, how she tries to do nice things for us when she thinks of them. I love her questions. I love her phonetic spelling (she's thankful for "trce" — think about it, yes, "turkey"). I love the way she dances, a natural ballerina. I love the way she is always doing projects. I love the way she puts her hands on her hips and says "humph." I love her long legs, and tiny waist, and curly hair, and richly-lashed blue eyes. I love her art and her music. I love the way she pouts just like my mom. I love it when she tries and appreciates new food. I love her babbling on to tell us things, and her questions about how things work. I love her little snore when she is finally asleep. I love the way stories are real to her. I love how much she tries to be just like me (and is). My first thoughts upon waking up are of her (well, because she often wakes me up), and even when we try to go out on date nights, we'll talk about how amazing she is.

There are a lot of parts of parenthood I never expected. But top among them, amazing me every day, is this crazy, wonderful, heart-swelling love.

Styled by Pinterest

One of the other things I did this weekend was spend some time on some creative craft projects. I absolutely love hunkering down and making things, and do it far too rarely — so it was nice to indulge.

On Saturday, Beatrix and I went to a workshop at Wet Paint that Krista had told us about. The workshop was about using shrink film to make things — basically, adult shrinky-dinks. Beatrix wanted us to make matching pairs of earrings, in purple and yellow; I could wear mine now and she could save hers until she gets her ears pierced. I was pretty dubious, but I think they turned out well (all art direction by Beatrix Rhone):

Then, on Sunday, while Beatrix had a playdate over, I kept half an eye on them and devoted the other half to painting a pair of jeans. It was an idea I had seen on Pinterest, but they used stencils — I could not find one I liked, so I eventually used a rubber stamp.

They are far preppier than I usually wear, but I think they are actually pretty cute, and I am kind of digging the Americana look.

I did one more successful project, but I can't tell you about it because you might be getting it for Christmas...

Two Date Nights

This weekend, and amazing thing happened. Due to a congruence of events, Patrick and I were able to have two date nights in a row, something that I don't think had happened since before I got pregnant (and rarely, since we had the boys, even then). The best part was that we were able to attend some wonderful things, bearing witness to the incredible amount of creativity present in the Twin Cities!

Friday night, Beatrix went to Cinderella at Children's Theatre Company with my aunt and uncle, and my cousins children. They loved it and thought it was very magical (I'm trying to get Beatrix to do a guest blogger review). Meanwhile, we had a lovely dinner at Zelo, drinks at the Monte Carlo, and then went to see For Sale by The Moving Company. You know that I have a deep, enduring love for MoCo's work, and that everything I have seen there has been wonderful. But this piece was so truly hilarious that my teeth actually hurt from laughing. For all the years I worked at Jeune Lune, everyone always told me they wished the company would bring back Yang Zen Froggs (which they actually did eventually bring back). If you want something evocative of that kind of humor, but in a slightly different vein, you have one more weekend to see For Sale. Don't miss it.

(We had dessert at Cafe Lurcat afterwards. Enough said on that.)

Last night, we went to the Minnesota premiere of a film co-directed and produced by our friend Jeremy Wilker and Matt Stenerson, Death to Prom, which was part of the wonderful Sound Unseen film festival. It's a locally produced, indie comedy — as Jeremy said in his remarks, "The Hobbit spent more money in their coffee budget than we did on this whole film. By many times."

That said, it's a wonderful flick. It's sweet and engaging and full of first-time energy. For a lot of the performers, it's their first film, and that does show a little. But the direction is loving, the cinematography beautiful, and there are so many enjoyable, engaging parts (spoiler alert:  the day-long shoot was my favorite.) Sadly, there are no confirmed additional showings of the film until it's released for home viewing in February — but I'll let you know if that changes, because it's a must-see.

I am a bit embarrassed to admit I had never before been to a film festival. But this was a pretty great way to start. And so wonderful to see so many people there that I see far too little of!

The weekend left me thinking again about the wonderful range of creativity that is here in the Twin Cities. I am so fortunate to be surrounded by incredible artists — performers, directors, filmmakers, visual artists. I am so happy to be bringing up my daughter in a place where she can be part of that. I'm so lucky to have my career be supporting these people.