all that's past is prologue...

Normally I wait for Patrick to post pics like this on TeamTrixie . I just couldn't resist, though, posting this one.  Don't I have the cutest daughter in the world?

Nautilus is doing a charming little piece, The Diary of Adam and Eve, as part of the Spirit in the House Festival.     The Festival is sort if like a "spiritual fringe festival," with some great performers looking at the relationship between theater and spirituality. Our show is by Jerry Bock and Sheldon Harnick (better known as the " Fiddler on the Roof guys"), and has some of my favorite Nautilus artists — Jillanna Ponasik, Joel Liestman, and JP Fitzgibbons, with music direction by Jill Dawe. Performances are: Tonight (Tu, May 27) at 8:30 Wed, May 28 at 7:00 Th, May 29 at 5:30 Fr, May 30 at 2:30 Sun, Jun 1 at 2:30 You can get tickets at the door, or at 651.209.6799 for just $12. Please come and see if, and check out other parts of the festival as well!

(ok, if you don't want to hear about my boobs, you're going to want to avoid this post) So, for the last few weeks, Beatrix has been on a nursing strike.  It's starting to feel less like a strike and more like self-weaning, and I am having a really hard time with it. Associated with that, my supply is going down.  I've tried all the herbal natural remedies, wheat beer, reglan, compresses, etc.  I've tried various techniques to get her to nurse:  bathing with her, anticipating when she is hungry, "hot switching," talking to lactation consultants, etc.  Nothing is helping and it is getting me so down.  I've just been completely indecisive for an hour about whether or not to pay an online person $5.50 postage for a batch of nursing shirts, because I don't know if I will even wear them.  I feel like a complete failure as a mother if I cannot even nurse my own daughter.  I dread the thought of having to drag along formula wherever we go, especially as w...

Plastics. It's been a long time since I've watched Mrs. Robinson , but plastics have been on my mind lately with the new baby.  The issue started to become a little bit of a buzz when I was pregnant, and I decided that it was important to me to stay away from BPAs for Beatrix.  The information at that time seemed inconclusive, but there seemed no real reason to use polycarbonates when other choices were available.  So we decided on Playtex Drop-In bottles, picked a breast pump that was approved, and are generally staying away from plastic serving dishes and toys. I am amazed by how quickly this issue has picked up steam.  In just the last few months, major stores like Babies R us and Walmart have chosen to discontinue many kinds of plastics, and some states (like Minnesota, but I believe the governor vetoed that particular legislation) are working on passing laws banning the material.  We've gotten even more careful, and are now researching appropriate toddler serving ware,...

You can't.  Give it up and snuggle her.  Is it all that important anyway?

You don't get many "firsts" by the time you hit 40, and the ones you do get (like colonoscopies) are not much fun.  But I have to say that my first mother's day was incredible! Patrick got me a great gift, and we hung around in the morning.  We then had brunch at Spill the Wine  with the boys and my aunt, uncle, cousin, and her family, which was a lot of fun.  Patrick was feeling a little ill by the time we got back, so he hung out with Beatrix while I got a ton of work done on the garden.  It felt so good to dig in the dirt and make things come alive — I really missed that last year when my finger was broken. I missed my mother, of course, but the pain was not quite as raw as last year.  I find the true awfulness of her being gone tends to settle into the everyday now, instead of landmark occasions. Thank you to my wonderful family, especially my lively stepsons, my beautiful daughter, and my incredible husband for a great mother's day.

I really love my books. But I love my daughter more. We're trying to scrape together enough to set up her 529 plan*, and let's face it, we have a lot of great books I'm just never going to get a chance to read again**, and I would like others to benefit from that. So I'm having a book sale this Saturday, May 10. Drop by, have a glass of wine, hang with me and Beatrix, maybe get some new reading material. We'd love to see you! Beatrix's Big Book Bonanza Saturday, May 10 2-5pm at 627 Ashland Ave, Saint Paul (* for those who have asked, a 529 Plan is a college savings plan) (**especially since it seems the only reading I do right now is on the computer or my Kindle)

I didn't want my first post in awhile to be so incredibly depressing, but I just couldn't believe this. More on my real life soon.