My Five Top Women Role Models (plus one!)

As Viv reminded us at yoga today, it's Women's Month. Which got me thinking about the so many women who have been incredible teachers, mentors, role models, and friends to me over the years. If I were to list them all, this post would never end. But five in particular, without whom I would not be the person I am today, stand out:

1. Nine

I met Nina Koch when my seventh grade trip to Widji, where she was a winter staff counselor. Our bond was immediate, much to the amusement of other counselors ("Hey, 9, I thought you said you were never going to have kids!") and by the end I was calling her my older ("by 10 years, 7 months, and 5 days") sister. Thanks to 9, I started to go to Widji, and met the other people there who became so important to me. I discovered a great love of the outdoors, especially the northwoods. I began to understand feminism. Over the years, we wrote long letters; I would go up to Widji on winter weekends and we would hang out in her cabin and trade journals to catch up on each others' lives; we recommended books to each other. We so rarely see each other now, but we can pick up exactly where we left off.

2. Hazel Belvo

When I went into high school I knew very little about myself; in particular, I would not have known that I had any artistic talent. But luckily for me, art was a requirement, and my first class with Hazel was transformative. Through her I learned to draw (and photograph, and paint a little, I'm still not great with clay) — but most of all, I learned to see. I learned a ton of art history, and more importantly, art's place in the world. I became close with Hazel, living at her place for awhile and visiting their place up in Grand Marais. She has given me many of her pieces, as well as other beautiful gifts, including a black velvet Victorian jacket I still treasure. She taught me to root an avocado. She brought me into her life, first with George and now with Marcia. Over the years, whenever I see her at an opening or a lecture or any other kind of event, she still makes me feel rooted, and important, and like I belong.

3. Carroll Durand

Carroll was the tech theater professor at Tufts, who became my advisor once I declared my theater degree. Her office was upstairs at the Arena Theater above the green room, and when I walked up those stairs I know that meeting with her would both push me harder to be better at what I did know, and also to learn more about so much of the theater world that I had no clue about. She was a true pioneer of raw, creative, immersive, political, physical theater, and taught me about combining theater with life. When she was denied tenure and thus had to leave the faculty I cried, and when she toured Poland with Double Edge she left her dog, Sam with me and it was like having her there to reassure me. It's been years since I've seen Carroll, but maybe I'll get the chance when I am in Western Massachusetts later this month.

4. Barbra Berlovitz

When I was interviewing for my first administrative position at Jeune Lune, I was introduced to everyone in the lobby after the show (Jeune Lune cast members were always out in the lobby afterwards, meeting the audience and helping to bring you back to earth after whatever amazement you had just experienced). Barbra held my hand in hers and looked at me and said "I hope you join us," and over the twelve years I worked there she always made me feel like I had made the right choice to do so and that she was glad that I had. Barbra was the artistic director who worked most closely with me in the business department, and she knew the right balance between affirming that she believed in my choices and pushing me to look at something differently. Whenever I see her now we still have the most magnificent conversations.

5. Kate Barr

This one is almost not fair. Kate is a generous mentor to everyone in the arts/non-profit world, in the same way that Philip Bither is everyone's secret boyfriend (oops, Philip, did you not know that?). So it's very likely that everyone reading this is nodding along saying "Oh, yes, she's been that kind of mentor to me as well." Kate has encouraged me since I first took a cohort led by her back in 2004. She's been generous with her time and guidance, and I can truly say I would not be the kind of arts leader I am today without everything I have learned from her. She makes everything seem possible. She makes me feel seen, whether it's in being open to answer a question to getting together for drinks and long conversations about everything from the philosophy of the performing arts to good books to travel to cocktails. She takes me to shows and drops off goodies at my house when I am feeling low. Kate is a treasure and I firmly believe that the state of Minnesota would not have the kind of vibrant artistic and non-profit culture that it does without her.

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and the extra...Katharine Hepburn...

I mean, can someone you never met be a mentor? Though once, before the internet made finding out such things easy, I learned where she lived in New York and dragged Dan Smith with me to drop off flowers for her (the houseman who answered the door remarked "Ms. Hepburn will be very appreciative."). Katharine Hepburn was very much the dry-witted, intelligent, no-nonsense, fierce, striving person I have fashioned myself after since I was ten, and I don't believe I could not have picked a better role model.