Free Reading

SPA's theory of encouraging kids to read was to make it a reward. If you finished your regular work in class — fractions or diagramming sentences or what have you —you could have free reading time (this was especially valuable as you could NOT stay inside and read during recess). Beatrix founds my grades last summer and yes, pretty much all of them commented that I rushed through my work so I could get to read. I mean, it stood me in good stead.

So, I kind of thought my career would be like that.

Strike early, fast, and hot. CHECK. I was almost always one of the younger people in the room.

Build diverse experience. CHECK. They don't call me a "swiss-army knife of nonprofit skills" for nothing.

So here I am, at what is likely the peak of my career (unless the peak is still coming, THAT would be exciting!), and I kind of thought I would get to more of the free reading.

You know, big juicy strategic planning and analysis and all. Making big change happen.

But no, I seem to be stuck with as much administrivia as ever. After all day dealing with an audit and a couple of payrolls, I'm actually supposed to be planting plants in FilmNorth's "backyard" space, but it's too rainy. Instead I am at the Summit taproom writing one fo the books I am judging this summer for the Minnesota Author Project.

The same thing is true for my personal life. Shouldn't I have the perfect house(s) by now with not so many projects? Radiant pets, not elderly ones that make me a little sad and scared of the future? Plenty of free time to spend with my handsome husband? Being a perfect mom to my amazing daughter? Being a wonderful and supportive wife that always makes Patrick realize how great he is? Ok, not any of those either.

I'm not a big gamer, but my understanding is that, if you are doing well in a video game, the algorithm senses that and then makes the next levels harder. So maybe, life is basically like if you are crushing it, it adjusts to add some challenge in. Or, as I told me friend Kate last year when I met her for drinks on a patio while clutching the dog I had just rescued from the pool and done mouth-to-mouth on — "No one tells you that when you are at the peak, the stakes all get higher."

I both want the free reading time and am worried that I will have intense FOMO while it's going on. So for the time being, I guess I'm just going to slow down and make the most of every minute. That's not necessarily the easiest thing for me to do. But I'm still driven to make a difference, so I guess I need to keep at it.


(One way for me to do that is to spend time with YOU, going on a walk or out for a drink or something. So text me!)

Comments

Anonymous said…
I think in these times of dwindling support for the arts, you are more important than ever.
Especially because since the slog is harder and will be less successful then past times,
whatever can still be accomplished will be dependent on someone with your kind of chops heart and grit.
July 16, 2025 at 9:47 PM
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