June Fail

In a lot of ways, June was a total fail. I participated in two online challenges — both about forms of personal growth — and came nowhere near my goals in either. One of my New Year's Resolutions was to really partake in living in Minnesota — which to me meant especially participating in festivals and events — and this weekend I missed both Pride and Jazz Fest. I have a plethora of house and garden projects to do, all of which are totally stalled and causing me no end of stress. The City of Saint Paul has free yoga in the park classes and I have not gone. I created nothing. I have not designed Inspiring Summer Learning Activities for my daughter. I have not even succeeded in a super-modest goal of spending an hour a week reading in a coffeeshop.

It's been a month of administrivia. It hasn't been a total waste; I made shrub for the first time, I managed to send off our contribution to the DFL before the state eliminates the reimbursement (you only have through tomorrow!), we made it up to the cabin, we hosted some pool parties and I attended some work receptions and got a few things organized. I dug up the back plantings so Patrick could take down the fence for the delivery of the new hot tub. I finished some 990s and majorly revised some bylaws. I attended a Saints game and Books and Bars and Cabarave at the Lab and got to sneak in a date night at the Half Time Rec.

All in all, though, it feels relatively minor.

When people ask me what I have been up to lately, I don't have much to say. It all seems rather small and boring. There's not a lot of there there, as Gertrude Stein would say.

But one friend did make me feel really good when I ran into her at an event the other night. We were discussing how we connect mainly on Facebook and I was envying her glamorous life (Walker roof seating for Rock the Garden! Exciting conferences! Reading great books and seeing great shows! Producing stellar art!) The *she* said how much she liked *my* Facebook presence (mainly pets and kids and shares of community posts, apparently boring enough to get another person to unfriend me). So either Kathleen is the most polite person on the face of the planet (which is a likely possibility), or perhaps its a case of everyone else's life seeming more exciting.

But still, I'm feeling awash in the small stuff.


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