Why the Circus Has My Heart

You're all so patient. This time of the year, when Beatrix is performing in 3 acts in 2 shows, when Patrick is rigging *every* show, and when I'm at the circus every spare minute lending a hand where I can, I'm scattered as heck and you patiently put up with me. Since last Monday, we've been here 34 hours, and we're just starting a 2-show day today.

But dammit, it's so so worth it. I'm typing this from my desk, while a song from Moana is playing and the toddlers are doing their adorable routine. And just like every day when they go onstage, I'm in tears. I'm so damn lucky to be able to be here.

I could wax rhapsodic about what I love about my job here, and the friends I have made. I could go on and on about how absolutely hot Patrick looks when he is rigging — I love to watch his concentration and focus on what he's doing. But most of all, I love this for my daughter.

She's literally grown up here; she came in to me to work for the first time when she was only 2 weeks old. She used to hang in her carrier while I worked. She started toddlers when she was 2; last night, when I was watching her multiple trapeze act, one of the coaches who has known her for that long pulled me aside and said "I can't believe she's up there already! Look at how great she looks!"

Circus has taught her how to work for what she wants, and how to always strive to be better. It's taught her about teamwork. It's given her a beautiful confidence and love of performing — all while thinking of where she wants to be next (like her mom, she's "never satisfied.") And the friendships she has made here, both with her BFFs Meara and Brogan, and with her older role models Elsie and Amelia, and with kids of all ages through all acts, have been amazing.

I could say more, but I'm going to rush downstairs to see her act, as I do every show. I hope that's part of my life for years to come.

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