Gah, Birthday

My birthday is coming up Sunday. And normally I love birthdays, but this one is weighing heavily on me.

I'm turning 45 (there I go, spreading personal information all over the internets), and that seems like a hard milestone of an age. When I turned 40 somehow it was not so bad — I was still kind of numb over losing my mom, but I was pregnant, and it was an exciting time. This seems just...harder.

I am thinking a lot about projects in various houses, and making places. I'm thinking a lot about legacy, and what I leave behind. I am thinking a lot about philanthropy, and what I want to be doing and giving back. And I don't quite know how to measure those.

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