Where There's A Will...

Do you have a will?

If you don't, you should stop writing this right now and go start putting together one.

A Power of Attorney is not a will. It expires the minute that you do, so if you want someone to deal with everything after you pass, you need a will.

If you only have one "next of kin" person and so you think everything will easily go to them, you still need a will.

If you have "nothing," you likely have more than you think, and you need a will. If you have only debt, you need a will.

If you have a home you want to pass to someone else, and everything else is minimal, you can employ, depending on the state, a Transfer on Death Deed — but you still need a will.

My mom had a will, written in the 1980s and updated periodically. When she passed, things actually transferred relatively smoothly because of it, and I didn't think much of it.

After she died, Patrick and I ensured we had wills. My college roommate, Molly, is a brilliant estate attorney and so we flew out to DC to see her for the weekend and did our wills while we were there.

When my dad became ill, he didn't have a will. I owe an everlasting debt to my childhood friend Kim Harpole Quale, who pulled together  a will and a transfer on death deed for him at the very last minute. His favorite bartender from Bunny's came to his hospice room to witness it.The house went to me in the TODD, and everything else got settled fairly quickly; without that, even with me as his only child, I would have been stuck with years of probate.

Patrick's aunt just died. Adrienne was the "Black Martha Stewart," the perfect planner and entertainer. She planned all of her funeral, and prepaid it. Sh purchased the urn for her ashes years ahead of time so she could have it in her home. Yet she did not have a will, which has led to no end of issues and confusion; Patrick's dad is her next of kin and he's been doing an amazing job sorting it all out, but there  are a lot of "Adrienne always said she wanted XYZ" statements to sort out, because we don't know because it's not written down.

No one wants to be thinking about passing on. But a few minutes spent planning for it (and I promise you, it takes very little time!), means that after you go, your family and friends can be planing your legacy rather than getting into arguments about what you really wanted.

I've apparently become known for my "death list" of what to do after a family member dies. I'll hold your hand and get you through a will, if you need it. Just let me know.