Some More Thoughts on #MeToo
In no particular order:
I thought I had a sense, but I am overwhelmed as to how many women in my life have posted #MeToo. But not surprised. You are all brave and wonderful and have my love and support.
If you didn't post, I also hear you. You still have a voice. It's not a contest.
If you're male and posted #MeToo, while I hear you, and hear that you were also a victim, and validate your experience, and though I know that sexual harassment and assault affects men also ... well, in this case, I wish you had left it just a day and let the women speak first.
I also hear you anyone who says "it's complicated." Who doubts her own memories or experiences. Who secretly wonders if maybe she did "lead him on" or "maybe it was not that bad" or "it's my fault too." Who was told that sexuality and beauty were ways to get ahead, and who wonders if she was not as good at that game, or as pretty, or not as desirable. These doubts will eat you up. You're better than that.
The one thing I heard today the gave me hope is, time and time again, people asking what they should do if they witness sexual harassment and assault — and that answer being "anything." Intervene, if you can. Tell someone in a position of authority if you can't step indirectly, because they have a legal obligation to investigate. Just don't let it go unchallenged.
If you are a man in my life, you don't have to protect me from. I don't need a white knight. Just listen, and believe.
My friend Adam, who has been writing some really brilliant stuff this week, pointed out that everyone might want to pick up a book on feminism. I think he's right.
I don't really ever care "why" someone committed an assault, or harassed someone. There's no proper justification for it. It's just plain wrong.
Though I'm glad that "having a daughter/mother/sister/wife" might be giving you some empathy on this, that's still casting that woman in relationship to you. Let her be her own self.
I thought I had a sense, but I am overwhelmed as to how many women in my life have posted #MeToo. But not surprised. You are all brave and wonderful and have my love and support.
If you didn't post, I also hear you. You still have a voice. It's not a contest.
If you're male and posted #MeToo, while I hear you, and hear that you were also a victim, and validate your experience, and though I know that sexual harassment and assault affects men also ... well, in this case, I wish you had left it just a day and let the women speak first.
I also hear you anyone who says "it's complicated." Who doubts her own memories or experiences. Who secretly wonders if maybe she did "lead him on" or "maybe it was not that bad" or "it's my fault too." Who was told that sexuality and beauty were ways to get ahead, and who wonders if she was not as good at that game, or as pretty, or not as desirable. These doubts will eat you up. You're better than that.
The one thing I heard today the gave me hope is, time and time again, people asking what they should do if they witness sexual harassment and assault — and that answer being "anything." Intervene, if you can. Tell someone in a position of authority if you can't step indirectly, because they have a legal obligation to investigate. Just don't let it go unchallenged.
If you are a man in my life, you don't have to protect me from. I don't need a white knight. Just listen, and believe.
My friend Adam, who has been writing some really brilliant stuff this week, pointed out that everyone might want to pick up a book on feminism. I think he's right.
I don't really ever care "why" someone committed an assault, or harassed someone. There's no proper justification for it. It's just plain wrong.
Though I'm glad that "having a daughter/mother/sister/wife" might be giving you some empathy on this, that's still casting that woman in relationship to you. Let her be her own self.
Comments