Covid Tales - Coming Out the Other Side

I am finally feeling well enough to sit up and write a little. It's been quite a ride!

This variant of covid apparently comes on like a train. Last Thursday, Beatrix and I went to see Atacama by Full Circle Theater. Patrick and I watched This Is Us. Around 10:30 I started having chills and feeling pretty crappy, so I decided to head up to bed early. I staggered down to do a home test the next morning, which lit up like a Christmas tree within seconds (though I did throat swab, which probably helped). And there it was.

From the beginning, I was like a textbook example of symptoms. Fever. Aches. Chills. Sore throat. A little cough and slight congestion. Headache. Nausea so bad that even with zofran it was 30 hours before I could think of eating. Dizziness. Low oxygen. Fatigue. A terrible, thick metallic taste in my mouth. My fever was so bad my nails got hot and my nail wraps bubbled (really, it's true). I could barely concentrate to answer emails saying I would have to get back to the person later. I couldn't even read (and you all know that's a huge deal).

It's the height of circus shows, so Beatrix and Patrick were at circus all the time. I've just been isolating in the bedroom, with the "covid cats." I have never in my life gone over 5 days without seeing my kid, and missing her debut in a Ringmaster role was excruciating. Patrick's been trying to keep up the house, deal with Beatrix, rig for circus, and keep himself safe (he went out and got his 2nd booster right away on Friday!)

I eventually got antivirals, which was a lot more work than it should have been, and showed me again how broken our system is.

Our friends have been amazing, dropping off food and texting to check on me and sending pictures from circus. I'm so very lucky.

It's Day 6 and I feel crappy still, but I'm coming out of it. I can walk around some, and successfully showered without fainting. The cough has settled in, but it's infrequent and I have a new inhaler. I can get a little done, though I'm still trying to take it easy.

I'm sad and emotional about how hard it's been and what I've missed. I haven't been there for my kid, which hurts the most. I'll never be able to make that up to her. I'll miss the return of Mother's Day dinner with my extended family (a 50+ year tradition), because I won't be able to be unmasked in public yet. I missed a concert (Anais Mitchell) I had been looking forward to like little else (probably for the best, I'm wary of crowds again now). I've blown deadlines right and left, while wearing myself out attempting to get things done. I'm terrified of long covid.

And here's the thing. Though we go out a lot, we've been pretty careful. I went through photos, checking to see where exposure was and who I needed to notify, and was relieved to see that yes, I had been masking when out except when actively eating and drinking. We're fully vaccinated (though I need my second booster, I was going to get it this week). We socialized outside whenever feasible, and socially distanced — the play we saw had 60 people in a 300-person house. I watch my exposure app like a hawk. In preparation for the circus shows, we had tapered back going out. But in the end, it doesn't matter. I don't think anything I did would have necessarily changed anything. I'm hearing stories like mine everywhere (even the Vice President is similarly struck). I think this variant is just super-contagious and gets around barriers.

I'm feeling both sorry for myself and realizing that I am just one of many that have gotten sick.

This illness does not mess around and we don't know what the long term effects are. I'm so bummed out that, after over 2 years of assiduously avoiding it, I got sick.