If You Are Reading This, I Probably Love You

(Because let's face it, it's not like this is a viral blog or anything. You are all my people, who I know IRL, and me putting this up periodically is a little like when my friend 9 and I would trade our journals when we would get together so we could catch up.)

A few weeks ago, I went to the funeral of one of my oldest friend's mothers. I just now learned of the sudden death this morning of another friend's father.

But what is really sticking with me at this very moment is attending the funeral for my friend Krista's's daughter Caitlin today, in a cold and blustery outdoor celebration of life that could not have been more poignant.

Because that's not how it's supposed to go. When my friend Judy's son William, who was Paul Wellstone's aide, was killed in the plane crash 19 years ago this month, I remember her saying over and over again "It's not supposed to be this way. I'm supposed to go first." I think it's every parent's nightmare.

Caitlin was one of the most full of life people I've ever known. We were not close; it was a friendship through her mother, Krista, who I hold as one of the dearest people in my life. But being with Caitlin was always a lively, beautiful interaction, from the time I first met her she she was tiny and I was in high school and she climbed up on my lap in the art room to tell me secrets. Today Krista said that "her eyes were her superpower" and I have never heard something so true in all my life.

I don't know of anyone else I know who would have close to 20 work colleagues come quietly up to the podium to make sure she was recognized. I looked across the patio on Harriet Island today and saw a space filled with so many people who she had affected so strongly. When you go, go like that.

And I guess what I am thinking right now is of all the times I have thought, especially lately, that "There's time to get together with so and so later." Because there's not.

So of you are reading this I love you. And we don't get together enough. And I would like to change that, even if I don't always know how.


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